searching
by nl4ever
Summary: two people look for what they need.  thanks for reading
1. Chapter 1

**thank you for all the interest. this is a different, difficult take on luna and neville with adult themes I don't own any characters**

Are you ready?

Yes.

Things won't be the same.

I know.

In a large downtown hotel in a major city, a man lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, thinking of the woman he had just met. Wondering if she was the one for him, if he had the courage to move forward.

Neville was a quiet boy who grew up to be a quiet, reserved man. He attended various schools, keeping to himself, being raised by his grandmother after his parents passed away. He had one good friend and his research on plants to keep him company. He met some pleasant people along the way, people who helped him work through his loneliness. After his grandmother passed away, he was on his own. No other relatives. Some people would say he was a nice man, smart, morally strong. Knew right from wrong. He was happy when he was immersed into his research, into his career. He finished his studies with a doctoral in botany, specifically research on cancer curing properties of various plants. He was head of a conglomerate of research labs, in various cities, wrote papers, occasional lectures. He was having a quiet life.

So when he met someone, he thought that he was in love. At least in significant like. She was the first woman he ever actually asked out, who actually ever said yes.

The day did not start off auspiciously. He got up, into a cab, onto a plane into the city. He was attending a conference, not doing any speaking which was good. He hated that. The flight was late, due to weather problems in different cities that made no sense to him, making him miss his connection, therefore he lost his hotel room. Fortunately, the front desk staff helpfully arranged for him to go to a different hotel, calling ahead for him for the front desk personnel to expect him.

He took a taxi to the hotel that was arranged for him. It was now very late so when he entered, the lobby was pretty much empty. Only himself and the woman at the front desk. He went up to her, she didn't look up. Sigh, story of my life thought Neville.

"Hello."

She looked up from what she was doing.

"I'm so sorry sir, I didn't see you. You must be Dr. Longbottom, the other hotel called me and I arranged a suite for you."

She asked for his ID, started to tap things into the computer. Neville watched her doing it. She was pleasant to look at, tall, with longish wavy auburn hair, blonde highlights. A pretty face. She was dressed plainly in a dark blue jacket with a little gold badge that said HANNAH, night manager.

"There you go. How else can I help you?"

"Nothing, thanks. Uh, I guess there isn't a place to eat tonight?"

"Well, there's room service. Or, if you want, I can set you up with something. It's not the usual thing but I'm happy to do it."

Neville looked at her, smiling at him. And he took a chance.

"Why don't you, uh, come out with me and grab a quick bite? You don't have to if you don't want to. I mean…"

She looked at him thoughtfully. He wasn't sure what she saw other then another tired traveler, slightly wrinkled clothes, needing a shower and a change. But maybe she sensed there was something in him, different then the other hotel guests. He didn't realize that he was attractive, that his loneliness caused him to carry with him this sense of searching, something that appealed to women.

"Okay. That would be nice. I should finish here in about two hours if that's okay with you."

"Yes, I can grab a quick shower, change. You can decide where to go?"

She laughed. "Yes, I think I can find something. I'll meet you here in two hours."

Neville smiled. He was hopeful all of the sudden. He didn't really talk to a lot of women, was pretty nervous around them a lot of the time. He was overweight as a child, early teens and never really outgrew that

They met in the lobby, Neville having changed after taking a shower into a dark sweater and tan pants, worried for a moment that Hannah had changed her mind.

She didn't. She had also changed out of her uniform, into a wrap top and jeans. She was sitting in one of the lobby chairs, and got up as soon as he approached.

"Sorry if I'm late."

"No, that's okay. I could have called your room to give you a reminder call."

She laughed and Neville smiled at that.

That was how they spent that first night, Hannah laughing a lot and Neville smiling a lot.

She told him about her family, her large extended family of brothers, sisters, aunts uncles, her closeness to her parents, how she was lonely from time to time because she was far away from them but trying to build up her resume with work at various hotel chains, hoping to get into corporate management very soon. Neville listened, longing for this. He wanted to be part of a big family, liked the idea of Hannah being involved with her family, wanting a large one of her own.

So he went to sleep that night, in his hotel room, thinking that his life had turned. What had started as a mistake, as a blip in the weather, had ended in something positive. He had been handed something he wanted very badly, something he could probably grab hold of if he wanted to enough.

Across the city, opposite the river, in a small house, lay a woman staring at the ceiling. Wondering if it was coincidence that she had just met someone.

Luna was a quiet girl who grew up into a shy, reserved woman. A little strange others would say with quirky ideas. Dreamy, looking, searching.

She had very little family, her own mother passing away when she was quite young, living with her father, who had his own strange ideas of raising a daughter. They were very close, travelled together, he gave her internal strength, self-esteem by telling her she was a wonderful girl who became a wonderful woman. But she was frequently lonely, keeping to herself, not letting people too close. She went to school, went to college, worked at her father's magazine part-time and studied zoology and evolution at night.

It was one of those nights that she was in the library, looking on the computer for the research books she required. She theorized that animals that didn't exist anymore just evolved into different creatures. There weren't too many people who thought this theory was correct so if she could just convince her advisor, she might be able to continue her research in this area. She found a few books that might serve her purpose and went to the lower levels, searching for them.

A tall man was standing right in front of where she needed to be.

"Excuse me."

He turned, looking down at her. Luna noticed that he was a bit taller than her, pleasant looking, cool. Blonde haired, blue eyed similar to herself in a way. Lean, with pale skin and a charismatic air about him.

"You are standing right in front of where I need to be"

"Oh sorry. Is there a book I can help you get?"

"Yes, that one way up there."

"How interesting. May I ask why you are interested in this particular book? Because I can tell you quite a bit about the person who wrote it. You see, the gentleman Newt Scamander used to travel quite a bit, bringing his family around with him, his son, his daughter in law, and their children. It was probably quite fun for the first couple of years but eventually, everyone needs to settle down."

"I see. How do you know so much about Scamander?"

"Hmm, well it could be because I am so interested in his research, or it could be because his life is one I want. But probably because I'm his grandson, Rolf. Rolf Scamander."

Luna looked at him, smiling a little. She liked how he presented himself, liked how smoothly he held out his hand, taking hers.

"If you're interested, why don't I explain some more aspects of my family, say, over dinner tonight?"

Luna said yes. Why not?

They left the library, walking towards a small café where they ate and talked together. Luna was impressed by Rolf's work, his lecturing on zoology and they had actually come across one another in various situations, during the occasional class, lectures, meetings.

Luna went home, went to sleep thinking that she had met the person who really understood her, that for once, she may actually be on the right track to adulthood.

Months passed, then years. Neville had been dating Hannah for two of them. What had started at a chance meeting in a hotel became a friendship which became a love of some sort. Neville met her family, spent time with them, spent time with Hannah, asked her to move in with him and four months ago, asked her to marry him. Things had gone very quickly from friendship to living together to love. It was a nice feeling, being able to tell people that Hannah was his fiancée, that he was spending time with family members. His friend Harry had met her and said that she was very nice, very balanced and probably good for him.

"Too good for you I bet!"

"True Harry. She's great right?"

"Absolutely."

"How about you Harry? Met anyone yet?"

"Nah, not as great as Hannah. I'm happy for you Neville."

The wedding was planned, Harry would be his best man, it was to be in Hannah's home town which made sense to Neville. Hannah had become extremely busy since the moment he asked her to marry him but they no longer spent time talking about his or her work. Well, they never really talked about his work, Hannah saying it was too detailed to her. Meaning boring. Meaning over her head. But Neville understood, he wasn't too concerned. He loved her, he knew that her strengths lay in her relationships. Her family.

He was finishing up everything so that they could take some time away. But there was some important work being done that required his attention, he would need to leave town to coordinate with the lab.

"I only have to be gone for a few days, won't you come with me Hannah?"

"I can't Neville, there's so much to do in these last few weeks. I still need to get gifts for the bridesmaids, write the shower thank you cards, get my wedding dress fitting completed…"

Neville went upstairs to pack, still listening to the litany of things Hannah had to do. He needed to make the flight this afternoon, that way he could be at the lab early the next morning.

He would only be gone for three days, quick visit. Make sure everything was running smoothly.

Luna was in the conference room listening to Rolf finish his lecture. There were quite a few people in the audience, his fame growing due to his publishing of a popular series on animals. It was written quite well, appealing to the regular person rather than the scientific world as Rolf put it to Luna.

She was doodling on her notepad though, not really concentrating on his words. She'd heard this lecture several times, especially when he practiced on her. Her father would say that Rolf liked to have Luna around because she was a foil to his ego. Luna would only smile, knowing that her father really liked him, just wished he wasn't so busy, wished that they would spend more time together. Neither Luna and her father minded being alone though; in fact, it was preferable.

"Luna, I'm going to head back to my place, I've got to get ready for my flight tomorrow morning. Will you be okay going to your place?"

"Of course Rolf. I'm going to catch the train, don't worry."

"I love you darling. We will need to make plans for our wedding day soon."

She smiled, knowing that it would probably be a quick ceremony and reception. She didn't want a big fuss anyway, it wasn't in her nature. She looked at the engagement ring on her left hand. It was a little too big for her and felt awkward there. But she was trying to get used to it.

She went into the restroom, looked at herself in the mirror. There were slight circles under her eyes, she pinched her cheeks to add color to them. Things had gone very quickly for her and Rolf, from dinner to breakfast to fiancée and now what? Luna wasn't sure if she was ready to be a wife just yet. She knew she loved him, in a way. Rolf was comfortable, didn't demand too much from her other than her just being there for him, supporting him. She knew that he loved her, very much. She splashed a little water on her face, washed her hands and quickly opened the door.

Neville stepped into the elevator, having dropped off his bags in the room. Maybe if he hurried, he'd be able to make it to the lab, not do as much the next morning and leave one day early. The elevator had some kind of muted club music in it, some kind of beat, a singer talking about beautiful people. He stepped off the elevator when the doors opened, the music still in his head, not looking where he was going and quickly turned left, running right into someone.

"I'm so sorry." He heard this voice. He instinctively held his arms out, grabbing hold of whoever was in front of him, having run into her pretty hard. He looked up right into the face of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was petite, pale with masses of blonde hair, silvery blue eyes. Her voice ran over him, like a waterfall, drowning him. He was unable to look away.

Luna saw that she had stepped right in front of a very tall, attractive man. Dark hair, slightly shaggy, tousled, like he had just gotten out of bed and run his fingers through it. Lean, wearing a dark jacket and shirt. He was unshaven and when he raised his dark brown eyes to look into hers, it was as if she had struck something, run into a wall.

Neville was still holding her arm, still blocking the elevator door. Finally, he stepped away, moving her to the side. Still clutching her.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't look where I was going." The girl said, in her distinctive high pitched voice. She sighed a little and Neville thought it was the sexiest sound he had ever heard.

"No, no it's me. I wasn't paying attention, I'm the one who ran into you." He replied, Luna listening to his voice.

Neville saw that he was still holding her shoulders, dropped his hands quickly. They moved away from the elevator doors allowing others to step in.

Luna wasn't sure if she was supposed to just smile, than walk away. Probably but something inside her told her to stay exactly where she was standing. Neville wanted to say something. Something witty about running into a beautiful girl, something profound so she would remember him. Of course, nothing entered his mind and he just stood there blankly. So he was grateful when she made the first move.

"I'm Luna" said the girl and she held out her hand. Neville took it and an electric current ran through him as if he had a direct line to her heart. He thought she could hear his pulse beating.

Luna inhaled quickly. A surge of heat ran through her arm, as if she was connected to him somehow.

"Hello Luna. I'm Neville." He gave her a little crooked smile, making her mouth go dry.

Luna subconsciously twisted her engagement ring around, so the diamond faced her palm. Neville ran a hand through his hair and Luna wished she could too.

Neville stepped back and Luna moved forward, about to leave. Regretful.

"Will you have a drink with me?"


	2. lobby

**Thank you for all the great reviews. This is a different take on Luna and Neville, with very mature themes. I don't own any characters**

"Did you want to get a drink?"

Luna was surprised. Here was this stranger who just ran into her. Literally. She had just come out of the restroom, thinking of what she had to do tomorrow, hoping to catch the early train back to her apartment. She had a stack of books to study, another stack of bridal magazines to find a wedding gown. She needed to get home.

"Yes."

Neville needed to get to the lab, needed to take care of this team so he could return to Hannah, return to his home, get his part of the wedding plans completed. He needed to leave.

He nodded and took her elbow gently. The bar was in the far corner of the hotel, they crossed the lobby, Neville's senses heightened. He could see colors very clearly, the golden wash of the pillars, the gleam of the floor, the bright blue fitted jacket that Luna wore, out of the corner of his eye. He could hear people chattering, the sound of the elevators chiming their arrival, smelled Luna's faint scent of flowers. He was completely sure of what he was doing, completely sure that this was the way things were supposed to happen.

They reached the bar,going to a small table farthest away from the crowd. They were partly hidden by the trees placed there, making it appear like an outdoor café. Little lights were in the leaves, small candles on the various table tops, the flickering lights dancing across Luna's face, making Neville's breath catch for a moment at the sight of her. The music quietly settling around them he recognized, as a snippet from an old movie, the romantic theme from blade runner. He thought it was interesting that that would be playing as he sat here across from this stranger. Then he stopped thinking. For Luna had shrugged off her jacket, exposing pale shoulders in a cream colored sweater. Neville watched her, not saying a word. She crossed her legs, pulling her short skirt down, smoothing her napkin over her knees.

The waiter arrived, took their order. He left, leaving them sitting across from each other, studying each other covertly.

Luna waited as Neville ran his fingers through his hair again, then he also took off his jacket, feeling a little self-conscious, he had a little weight he wanted to lose before the wedding. He didn't realize that she liked how he looked, how he was dressed, in a dark button-down shirt and pants, careless, almost like he didn't care, unaware of how appealing he really was, how very attractive. Rolf always was very careful with the way he dressed, making sure that his shirts and ties were pressed just so, the colors matching in subtle ways. Even his socks had little patterns of color in them.

Their drinks arrived, a vodka tonic for Luna, whiskey for Neville. He picked his glass up, sipping it, watching Luna over the rim. She took the lime wedge, squeezing the juice into the liquid, licking her fingers afterwards. Neville felt himself become quite turned on while watching her do this, felt himself redden a little.

Neither of them had given the other any information other than their names. Neither of them felt like they needed to say anything else. Luna took a swallow, a little liquid falling onto her chin. Neville resisted the urge to run his finger on the little bit of wetness that had fallen, resisted the urge to take her glass and pour a little more on her. Instead, he picked up the wedge of lime she had left on the side and rubbed it on his own glass. Luna watched him as he sipped a little whiskey.

"I'm here on a research trip." Neville said all of the sudden, not sure if it was something she wanted to hear. But Luna seemed very interested, she looked at him with her amazing eyes, smiling slightly.

"What are you researching?"

Neville explained about his plant labs, his various teams, the pharmaceutical research they were performing. Luna seemed interested, asking various questions about his projects, his passions. He spoke more about these to Luna in ten minutes then he had with Hannah over ten months.

"And you? What are you doing here?"

"I was following a lecture." She proceeded to talk about the lecture itself, what exactly interested her about it.

Neville leaned forward, his eyes intent on her, making Luna blush all of the sudden. He acted like every word coming out of her mouth was the most important thing he had ever heard, like he was savoring every vowel. Luna didn't know how to react, Rolf didn't really ask her for her opinions, it was like he thought they would be the same as his somehow.

Luna didn't want to say that the lecturer was her fiancée but she wasn't sure why she was hiding this fact. She didn't know this man, didn't know what to make of the fact that his open and honest face, his dark brown eyes, his entire demeanor was drawing her in, making her speak about herself, telling him things she never really told other people. Her studies, her late nights, her occasional loneliness.

She sipped her drink again, turning her head to watch the parade of people walking by, aware that he was watching her. When she looked back, he ducked his head down, pretending to study the ice cubes melting in his drink.

The air was thick, a little tension. Both of them unsure of what the next step would be, if there would even be a next step.

Luna placed her glass down, sighing a little. Regretful, this small diversion was coming to an end. She didn't want to move. Wanted to keep this moment, wanted to keep sitting here, across the table from Neville .

Neville took one last swallow of his drink. He slowly placed it down, empty on the table, not wanting Luna to leave, not wanting the last memory of her to be her walking away from him.

He did the only thing he could do. He thought that if he didn't do it, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

He moved forward across the table, and kissed her. He had his eyes open for a moment, seeing hers widen, startled, than watched them close as he moved his mouth over hers, feeling her lips, tasting the lime and vodka. He reached over with his hand, grasping the back of her neck, a handful of her hair, soft, silky. He inhaled her, sweet, spicy. It was indescribable.

Luna let him do it. One minute she was there, having a drink with a stranger. The next, she found herself being kissed by him, his mouth opening, tongue seeking entry into her. She felt a jolt in her abdomen, a sudden flash. It was infinite this kiss, like it had no beginning and no ending. All she felt were his hands on her neck and hair, his mouth on hers and she was gone. She had no life before or after this man.

It must have lasted only fifteen or twenty seconds but felt like twenty lifetimes. Luna's mouth was soft, delicate to Neville. She reached up and touched his jaw with her fingers. He thought he might dissolve under her touch. He groaned into her mouth. He pushed into her mouth, meeting her tongue, delicate, tentative. He leaned forward, wanting to pull her across the table, wanting to lay her open right there, in front of everyone. She gasped for breath and he let go, leaning back, looking at Luna, flushed. Her eyes were closed, her mouth a little open. Her hair was disheveled where he had clutched it, tousled around her shoulders. She opened her eyes, her beautiful silvery eyes, staring right at him, right through him.

Neville signaled for the waiter who had been watching them discreetly from the side. He came over bringing the check, Neville handing him his room card. Luna watched without saying a word, Neville bending over the receipt, his ears a little pink, conscious of the waiter and Luna watching him. The waiter said thank you Dr. Longbottom, Neville stood up taking Luna's hand, pulling her up as well.

They silently left the bar, Neville not letting go of her hand, going to the elevator. He pressed the up button, both of them waiting for the next car. The doors opened, they waited for a family to leave and then stepped in. Neville pressed floor 14. The doors closed and their reflections stared at them. The music played softly, surreal. Luna leaned up against Neville, almost a foot shorter than him, her hand firmly in his, Neville nervously picking at his jacket pocket, hunched over a little, not looking directly at Luna, just sideways glances. The doors opened and Neville stepped out, turning left and then down the hallway to his room. He opened the door with the room key still in his hand, walking in, not letting go of Luna.

The door locked behind them, he bolted it and pushed her up against the door, shoving her hard with his hands and leg, pressing his mouth on hers, kissing her so harshly, it was like a bruise. She whimpered a little, making Neville feel like he was about to burst. He held her head, barely letting her breathe, wanting to inhale her. He dropped his hands to her waist, lifting her to the bed, carrying her like she weighed nothing, his desire giving him the strength. He felt like he was watching himself outside his body. The Neville everyone knew wouldn't act this way. He was mild, pleasant, not prone to making sudden decisions, rash decisions. And this was a rash decision. He placed Luna on her back, propping himself over her, lowering himself down to kiss her again. Luna touched his face, mesmerized by his stubble, feeling his tongue push into her.

Neither of them had spoken a word, both of them still fully clothed, hearing only each other's breathing, the sheets rustling, the sound of mouths on flesh, skin, each other.

Neville unzipped Luna's jacket, opening her sweater a little, dropping his mouth to the softness above her bra. He carefully turned her to the side, unzipping her skirt, Luna helping him push it down, followed by her underpants. Neville quickly dropped his own jacket, unbuttoned his shirt, Luna pressing her palms on his chest, her own breath quickening.

He felt her hand travelling down his chest, down to his navel and he felt his breath catching as she took hold of his belt and removed it, unzipping him. His pants and boxers dropped to the bed, he kicked them off while inserting his leg between her thighs to spread her legs. He was naked, physically, emotionally with her. She could say anything to him right now, ask him for anything and he would do it.

Neville watched as Luna lay there, strangely erotic. He pulled the straps of her bra down, exposing her, watching her nipples harden right underneath his gaze. Her breasts were beautiful, just the right size for him. He didn't touch her though, just gazed on her. Luna felt her breath hitch, watching him, waiting.

She continued to stare at him, unable to take her eyes away from his mouth, his lower lip which was barely an inch away from hers. She licked it, feeling a wave go through her of desire. She dropped her hand to his hardness, shocked by how much she wanted him inside her.

She was naked from the waist down. She felt vulnerable, exposed, she wanted to cover herself. She started to close her legs, surprised and aroused when she felt Neville push his hand on her thighs, forcing her to stay open and she watched him run that same hand on the inner part of her thigh, his mouth still hovering over hers. She jumped a little when she felt him cup her, she knew she was very wet, almost embarrassed by her body betraying her desire for him.

He started to ask about protection, but the sight of Luna, spread eagled, pink, swollen, caused the question to remain unspoken. Luna had her eyes closed, not even thinking of anything. She only knew that she wanted Neville, on her, inside her.

The feeling of his moving into her made Luna close her eyes, it felt right. Perfect. Everything about him was perfect. She clasped her hands around his neck, pulling him close. Neville felt as if his nerve endings were on fire, every time he moved in her, made him want a die a little, because it was as close to perfection as he could imagine, nothing with any other woman ever made him feel this way. Nothing ever would.

His mouth pressed on hers, harder, forcing her mouth to open, every time he pushed inside her, she whimpered and he would moan into her mouth. It was drawn out, then fast, gentle, hard, subtle, like a hammer. He whispered the words he thought he would never say to another woman.

"Luna…I love you."

"Neville…" she sighed. "I love you too."

He called out, spilling into her, onto her. She clutched him, he was pressed up inside her. He collapsed, exhausted, caressing her thigh, her waist.

"Sorry, it wasn't, long enough…" Neville started to explain to her, but Luna smiled at him and he stopped talking.

He held her against his chest, her mouth pressed in various spots, pulling the sheet over them both, only to stop when Luna pulled it back down to look at him, laying her cheek against his skin. He stroked her back, stroked her hair, Luna quietly touching his jaw.

"Neville."

"Sweetheart."

Luna closed her eyes, loving his voice, wanting him to keep talking.

"I have to tell you I'm, I'm not like this…"

"I know Luna."

"No, you don't know, you don't. I'm engaged."

"I know sweetheart."

"You do? "

"You're wearing an engagement ring honey I know."

She closed her eyes. "And you?"

He sighed, not wanting to ruin the moment. But what choice did they have?

"I asked my fiancée to marry me three months ago, I'm getting married in three weeks."

Luna knew that he wouldn't lie to her, wouldn't deceive her. He was as guilty as she was.

She lay on her front, her head tilted to the side, looking at him. He rolled to his side, looking at her.

She whispered to him, not wanting to say anything too loudly. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know. I don't. But I don't want to leave." Neville whispered back.

Luna fell silent, Neville watching her anxiously.

"I don't want to leave either." She whispered as well, reaching out to him. He took her left hand and she realized that her ring was gone. She closed her eyes, saddened.

"I have to find my ring." She said quietly. She opened her eyes and there were tears pooling in them, threatening to drop down her cheeks. Neville understood. She lay there on the bed, not moving and he removed sheets, blankets and pillows around her. He found her ring on the floor and picked it up. He didn't want to put it on her finger so he lay it in the palm of his hand, holding it out to her.

Luna didn't want to take it. She closed her eyes, turning her head away the sight of it, tears falling down her face. She wiped them off with the sheet.

He gently placed it on the side table, pulled her up next to him, wrapping his arms around her arms and waist, kissing the top of her head.

Luna pressed her face into the pillow, than turned to face him, wrapping her arm around his waist. Neville felt her squeezing him, wanted nothing more than to keep her close to his heart. He didn't know what they were going to do next, didn't know what the next move would be. He only wanted this moment to last, to not think about anything.

They fell asleep, Luna's head on his chest, Neville's arm around her waist. Still searching for answers.


	3. phone calls

**Thank you for the alerts and reviews. This is a mature story, I don't own any characters**

Phone calls

Neville was sitting there on a bench, waiting for Hannah to come out. She said she wanted to pop in to a gift store, looking for presents to give to each of her bridesmaids. She had eight of them all together, and seven of the eight bridegrooms were her friends and family as well. Neville had asked one person to be his best man only. Harry had accepted, saying that there was no one else he'd rather be a best man for, which was very nice to hear. Neville appreciated that, especially since right now it was the Hannah show. Not that it really bothered him before. Before he liked the fact that she had a lot of family and friends, a lot of chatter to fill his mind, to fill his void. But now, the fact that she was around bothered him. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to think or do anymore.

That kiss with Luna in the lobby, that single kiss changed everything. Neville felt like everything before Luna was monochrome, single muted colors. Soft tones, low voices, fuzzy. And then, that time in the bedroom, when he was staring down at her, it was like his world had stopped. The sight of Luna, lying there, underneath him, trusting, he closed his eyes to remember what she looked like, how she felt.

"What do you think of this Neville?"

He looked up. Hannah was holding pendants out, small pearls with silver wire wrapped around them. A little enamel leaf accenting it, looking like a tiny bird nest.

"It's very pretty." He might buy one for Luna.

She looked at it then back at the store.

"There were earrings too. I'll just be a few more minutes."

Neville sighed. He had returned back from his trip about six days ago. The day after his encounter with Luna, he found himself in the lab, talking to a few employees who looked at him strangely. He was not making any sense at all, not even sure of what he was doing there. He laughed it off nervously, saying his wedding plans were confusing him and his administrator said she was so excited for him, he must be very happy to be marrying so soon. He nodded, unable to speak. He got on a plane not long afterwards, flew back and met up with Hannah and her mother for an early dinner. The two of them were excited to see him, to tell him about the progress they had made with the floral arrangements, the music, the menu. Neither of them asked how his trip went, neither of them asked his opinion. Before his meeting with Luna, he would have been happy to have been left alone, happy that they were happy. But after talking with her, after hearing about her loneliness, he realized he was as well. Resentful at times because he thought he wouldn't be once he was with Hannah.

He picked up his cell phone and tapped in a number. He hadn't called it before, not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't want to cause problems for her, problems for himself. But now…  
>The phone rang a few times then…<p>

"Hello". A soft voice.

"Hello Luna, it's Neville." He could hear people and music in the background and he wondered where she was at this moment. It was too early for a cocktail party.

"Hello Neville. How are you?"

"Okay I guess. What are you doing?"

A light laugh. "I'm looking at wedding china patterns."

Neville smiled. "I'm on a bench, waiting for Hannah to pick out gifts for her bridesmaids,"

"Oh do I need to do that?"

"I don't know do you want me to put Hannah on for you to ask her?"

Another light laugh. "I think I'll manage. I hate this store."

"Which is it?"

"One that has prices too high for everyday dishes. I don't even like china. I don't like the formality of it all. I'd rather have casual plates, just something I can feel comfortable using on a day to day basis."

"Why pick one at all?"

Sigh. "Rolf wants me to pick something that is traditional, for him and I. He's probably going to select a family crest soon."

Neville smiled at the way Luna sounded on the phone. He crossed his leg, watching Hannah through the door looking at earrings, at purses and listening to Luna talk about flowers, ribbons and colors. He didn't realize that she had stopped talking until she asked a question.

"Why are you calling me Neville?"

"I was waiting for my fiancee."

Silence. "No, really Neville, why are you calling me?" Luna asked him gently.

Neville didn't say anything for a moment. He wasn't sure why he was talking to her.

"I guess I needed to hear your voice. I want to see you again. I need to know that I'm not the only one who is unsure?" he said hesitantly. He waited for her response.

It took a few moments. Then Luna sighed a little again and Neville's stomach lurched a little. Afraid that she was going to say that she wasn't unsure, that he was going to need to hang up, not call her again.

"It's nice to hear you too Neville. I, I want to see you again but I'm not sure if that's a smart thing to do. Well, I know that it isn't a good idea, in fact."

"I need to see you again Luna." Neville said urgently. Silence. He gripped the phone, waiting.

"No Neville."

"Yes Luna. Yes. Ever feel like you're lost?"

Silence. Neville continued to talk.

"Like you're completely lost, not sure of which way you're going. That's what I was feeling when I first saw you in the lobby. I didn't realize it but it's true."

"I don't know If you're lost too, if you need someone to make you whole. But Luna…"

Neville was talking quickly now, intently. He needed to make sure Luna understood. Before Hannah came out.

"I need you."

Nothing. She was gone.

Luna hung up the phone. She did hear everything Neville had said, she just didn't answer. She couldn't. She heard him say to her he needed her.

She was standing in the china department, surrounded by happy engaged women and their mothers. Everyone looking at stemware, at place settings, linens, chatting happily about colors, bridal schemes. All she wanted to do was walk out, close her eyes and rethink that moment, when his mouth touched hers. That first kiss at the bar, that second one in his hotel room. The last one he gave her before they left his room, the next morning. Where she had clung to him, his arm around her, pushing her into the wall, her willingness to be taken back to bed.

"So which one are you thinking of?"

Luna turned and saw Rolf standing there, smiling at her. He picked up a plate absent-mindedly, turning it over , looking at the mark on the bottom of the plate.

She sighed. She loved him, she truly did. But Neville wasn't that far off the mark. She was lost. She thought that Rolf was the one to find her, to truly understand her but maybe not. They had a lot of interests in common, and hopefully mutual respect. But passion, true understanding, she wasn't sure. Maybe she wasn't meant to be understood by anyone.

She went back to her apartment. She sat down and stared out the window. She didn't have many close girlfriends, no one she could talk to about this situation. But she knew what they would say anyway. Hermione would say don't be such a twit. You're with Rolf, he loves you. Don't ruin it. Ginny would say if she wasn't sure, she should make sure before she made such a drastic step such as marrying someone else.

She went over to her bookcase. There was a large album on a shelf, filled with pictures of her friends, family. There was one picture in particular that she loved, showing a city scene, she hadn't realized that the hotel she was in with Neville was in the forefront. She moved it slightly and pulled out from behind it a piece of paper. Neville's letter.

She sat down at her desk, staring at his name, written in his careful script and the phone number underneath it. He had handed it to her when they parted. They were standing in the lobby, unable to touch or kiss each other. Too self- conscious now. Neville had handed her the envelope and she had taken it. They spent a few precious seconds looking at each other. Then Neville went out the revolving door, leaving Luna to stand there for a few moments before she left as well.

She picked up her phone, dialed it.

It rang twice and then Neville's voice.

"Hello?" Tentative.

"Hello Neville."

She heard a sigh of relief from the other end and she smiled a little.

"Hello Luna. I thought I had lost you there."

"No Neville. I just didn't know what to answer."

She could hear him moving things around, papers rustling. "Am I interrupting you?"

"No, never. I'm just moving things out of the way so I can sit down and talk to you."

Luna leaned back in her bed, listening to him rummaging around, comforted by these normal sounds of life.

"You still there?"

"Yes."

"How are you doing?"

"I don't know Neville. I know that I cannot change my life because we met."

"I understand that. I don't want to change my life either. But I don't want to miss this chance, to maybe be with the, I don't know how to say this, the right person."

"There is no way to know that. I have been with Rolf for over two years and I thought he was right. You've been with Hannah that amount of time as well."

"That's true. There are times though, I wonder if I was just waiting for someone to be with, and when someone wanted to be with me, I grabbed the chance."

"But you love her?" Luna waited for his answer. If he said no, she would know that he was lying.

"Yes, Luna, in my own way, I love her. I don't want to hurt her. You love your fiancé as well right?"

Luna sighed, a little happy because she realized that Neville wouldn't lie to her. "Yes Neville, that's true. I love that he loves me." She didn't realize her reasons for being with Rolf until she said it out loud.

"Yes, I love the fact that my fiancée has a large family, that I'm a part of something. Although right now, it seems like I'm on the outskirts, not included. It was okay before I met you, now it's not."

"Neville, she's just excited. Making her plans, she's got all sorts of confusing ideas and thoughts in her head right now, nervousness."

"Maybe. What do you think of us?"

"I'm not sure. I really think that we were both just a little, well, confused? That happens to me a lot."

"I don't think so Luna, you seemed very clear to me, when I was inside you."

Neville's voice had lowered and Luna felt like she did when he first kissed her. Like the breath was knocked out of her.

"Do you remember that Luna? How you sounded?" Luna remembered, remembered how he had felt, suddenly wishing he were here with her. She tried to break the mood, laughing a little bit.

"Maybe it's infatuation? What you and I have for one another."

"Maybe Neville. I don't know if you understand me, it's one thing to talk on the phone and have a moment of weakness, it's another to be with someone day after day, night after night."

"Luna, I think I wouldn't mind being with you night after night."

Luna heard his smile through the phone, couldn't help but smile herself.

"Will you meet me?"

"You mean now?"

"Well, this up coming weekend. I'll come to you."

"Neville I don't think that's a good idea."

"It isn't. But I need to see you."

"Don't you think we should just think of our encounter as a chance one? Because Neville, if we don't then we will really be betraying our, you know, Hannah and Rolf."

"I don't care. I need to see you. Please Luna."

He heard her sigh. When Neville said anything, she knew that she was going to comply. That he wouldn't ask her to do anything that would be hurtful. And if she were honest with herself, she was beyond caring herself. She wanted to see him, wanted to know if it really was just this one time attraction. That she was a selfish person after all, she may end up hurting more than herself, more than Neville. She may end up hurting Neville's fiancée, her own fiancé. But she was beyond caring now.

"I love you, please Luna."

Luna sat down on her bed, staring at the photo of the hotel, at the ring on her left hand, the one she hadn't had sized to fit her yet.

"Yes Neville."


	4. hotel room

**thank you for the story alerts, this is a different mature take on Neville and Luna I don't own any characters**

He opened the door and she silently entered the room, crossing over to the window. Neither of them looked at each other, neither of them knew what to say to each other.

The day had started out with a forecast of a great deal of rain and Neville was worried that his flight may be cancelled. It was very important that he make it, that he got to his destination. Because there may not be another chance. There may not be another way.

He had showered early that morning, choosing his outfit very carefully. Normally he would be wearing casual clothes, wouldn't really care what he looked like on the plane, in a strange city. He would change in the hotel room. But timing was a key factor today. He shaved, staring at himself in the mirror. Tired, worried. Stop thinking, he told himself.

Neville had told Hannah that he was going to be out of town, that he had a meeting to attend. She believed him, never doubting for one moment that he would lie to her. She was too busy talking to her mother, her sister, the wedding planner, the hall personnel, the woman who tied the ribbons around the chairs for all he knew. He quietly let himself out, Hannah still chatting on the phone and went to the airport. He arrived at the hotel two hours after he walked out his apartment door, checking in and going straight up to the room. He had nervously looked around when he arrived, carefully putting his spare shirt and socks away in a drawer, hanging up his coat. He opened the mini bar and took out two scotches, something he would never have thought to do before this day. He poured them into a glass and drank it in one, two, three swallows. The liquor hit him hard, he closed his eyes and swayed for a moment. When he reopened them, he found himself looking at his reflection, in the full length mirror. Tall, disheveled, anxious.

Luna had woken up that morning, not sure if she had slept at all. She stared up at her ceiling, watching the shadows of the night become dawn. Watched as the sunlight struck her window, making dust motes dance around her. Coming to a decision.

She got up, showered and washed her hair three times. Making sure it was completely clean. Then she pinned it up, staring at herself in the mirror. She looked pale, even more so then the norm. Drawn, worried. She didn't have to do this. She applied her make- up carefully, not really using a lot. She wanted to look perfect.

Luna had told Rolf that she needed to take care of wedding details, that she was meeting a whole group of vendors today and tomorrow and needed to spend the night in the city, citing a breakfast meeting for her wedding gown fitting. She needn't have told him anything, for he didn't really hear her, focused on his writing and absentmindedly kissed her on the forehead as she headed back to her place the night before. She took the train into the city, picking at her outfit, staring out the window at the view of the skyline, moving quickly, moving her to her destination. Her decision.

He was wearing a three piece suit, slightly wrinkled. He wanted to make a good impression on her, to let her know that he thought about today very carefully. That she was worth whatever future decision he made. He patted down his hair, wiped an invisible spot on his shoe. Checked his phone to see if she had called him. Wanted to call her again, wanted to talk to her immediately, even though he hoped she was on her way. Wanted to hear her voice.

The night before he left, Neville sat down with Hannah and her friends for a big dinner at a restaurant, picked by Hannah of course. There were over 20 people there, most of them circled around Hannah. Neville sat on the sidelines, watching her in her element. Talking to the waitresses, the bartenders, her friends. All he could think of was the airline ticket in his pocket, the one he didn't want to let go. He tapped it nervously several times that night.

"Hey Neville. Is there something special in your pocket you don't want to lose?"

Harry asked him, with a questioning look on his face. Neville coughed and tried to smile.

"No, nervous habit."

He had beside the airline ticket a present for Luna. He was nervous about that as well but couldn't exactly say that to Harry.

"Neville, meet my friends Justin and Ernie." Hannah beamed at the two of them, especially the man called Ernie. He was a slightly pink faced man, a bit heavy set who shook Neville's hand a tad more strongly then most would.

"You're lucky to have her Neville, lucky."

"Ernie and I both work in the hospitality business. Ernie is in charge of food and beverage for over 50 hotels in this one chain."

"Amazing." Neville murmurs. Hannah turns away and chats with the two of them, leaving Neville and Harry standing there.

"Neville, tell me again why you are marrying her." Harry said seriously. Neville looked at him and knew that Harry knew, or at least suspected something. He didn't know how to answer, so he started with the truth.

"She's nice, sweet. We went out, I really enjoy her company."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes Harry, I do. It may not seem like a great emotional love but maybe that's what I need."

Neville said these words while clutching the pocket which contained his ticket and his gift for Luna. He was unsure as all hell about Luna. Wasn't sure what he was doing or thinking. So Hannah was, in a way, an anchor for him at this point. And he intended to keep it that way as long as he could.

She got out at the station she needed, walked up to the sidewalk with the other thousands of people there. She went to the hotel and finally looked at her phone. 1804.

She could turn around right now, could delete his number. Could go back to her place, ignoring everyone and every feeling inside her. Instead, she headed to the bank of elevators.

She went to the one closest to her and entered it, pressing 18. The doors closed and she was looking at herself in the mirrored doors. Short, pale, anxious. She was very carefully dressed in a grey jacket with silver threads throughout the fabric, picking up the light in the elevator, giving a shimmery effect, a multicolored skirt and high heels. Her hair was carefully pinned up, and she looked flushed. Anticipatory. She wanted Neville to see her and not think he had made a mistake. Not think that whatever they may or may not do was the wrong thing.

The night before she left Rolf, they had a quiet meal together, barely talking. She cooked and brought it over to the table as Rolf sat there, looking at a pile of papers, searching for the right tone for his upcoming lecture series. He was speaking on the evolution of animals and how some of their properties were passed over, and why In varying stages of their evolution. Luna nodding from time to time, barely listening. It was all she could do not to look at her phone, to see if there was a text, a message. But as Rolf finished eating, he turned to her and took her left hand, admiring the diamond ring that sat on her fourth finger.

"I am glad you love this ring, that we made a date."

"Yes Rolf. I think a small ceremony is the best decision, and this upcoming weekend is best. Good timing."

"Yes. I have to go on the lecture tour, we may not have had time to have a weekend off after that."

The doors opened and Luna walked down the hallway to the door to 1804, knocked on it nervously. Last chance to walk away, last chance to make things right.

She turned away from the window and faced Neville. Struck by that same sensation in her stomach, the one that felt like Neville had placed his hand on her abdomen, pushing her, making her lose her breath, her senses for a millisecond.

He was dressed in a suit, a formal, serious occasion. He moved towards her, she nervously stepped back half a step. Neville stopped, wary. He moved to the chair, sat down and looked up at her.

"Hello Luna."

"Hello Neville."

"You are very beautiful."

"Thank you Neville but I don't think so."

"You're wrong."

Luna sat down at the sofa, not looking at Neville, looking out the window. She could hear him shifting a little bit, felt his stare.

"Neville…"

"Yes Luna."

"I'm afraid."

"I know."

Neville got up and sat down beside her. Luna reached over and touched his arm, wishing she were with him. Wishing that she was anywhere but here. He leaned in and kissed her. The same kiss he gave her when they were downstairs in the lobby bar, twelve days ago. The same kiss he gave her when they parted. That following morning, she had woken up not sure of where she was sleeping. She turned and saw Neville there, his eyes, closed, breathing regularly. His mouth slightly open, she wanted to touch his lower lip, wanted to press her mouth onto him. As she watched, he opened his eyes, those dark brown eyes, that look of wanting, of need focused on her. He moved forward and kissed her, that same kiss that awoke this feeling in her, of loss, of regrets. He kissed her while they lay in bed, and she wanted to die. Never leave him. This kiss was like that, Neville not touching her except with his mouth and yet, it was like she was naked, like he could see everything.

Neville felt the softness of Luna's lips underneath his own. She opened her mouth a little and his tongue slipped in, meeting hers. He put a little pressure on her mouth, hearing Luna gasp and he longed to touch her. He moved forward, started to make her lean back onto the sofa.

"Stop Neville."

"No baby, I won't."

He continued to kiss her, pushing her back, holding her face in his hands, his mouth working over hers. Luna started to move away, Neville not letting her, his kisses becoming harsher, as both of them started to breathe quicker, deeper, rasping breaths. Luna couldn't take it.

"Stop, stop, I can't…"

Luna brought her hands up to push him away, but Neville didn't let her. She pushed at his chest, he took her wrists easily in his hands pinning them up above her head on the sofa. He continued to kiss her mouth, inserting his leg between hers, ignoring her protests.

Luna moaned, she wanted him to stop but not really. She knew this was wrong, very wrong. Both of them were engaged to other people. Both of them had made commitments.

"Neville, we can't do this, please we have to stop."

"Don't, don't say that. Don't make me stop."

Neville continued to kiss her neck, used one hand to hold her wrists about her head, the other to unzip her jacket. Luna watched him, wishing he would take off everything, wanting to feel his body against hers.

"Don't make me stop Luna, stop saying that."

Neville ran his hand over her breasts, feeling her nipples harden underneath his touch through the fabric of her shirt.

Luna continued to watch Neville, watch his hand run up her front, cupping her breast, squeezing gently. He looked up at her, his face raw with emotion. She opened her mouth a little, licked her lip. Neville groaned, reaching up and touching her lip with his finger.

He ran his hands down to her bottom, cupping her, squeezing her firmness. Luna sighed into his mouth and Neville picked her up, carrying her over to the bed, Luna's legs wrapped around his waist.

He dropped her down, shed his jacket, unbuttoned his vest and shirt. He reached down, pulling her to the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees. Neville pulled her skirt down to the floor, watched Luna as she removed her sweater.

"I love watching you Luna."

She smiled, knowing it was true. She was in her carefully chosen lingerie, the set she originally bought with Ginny for her wedding night. But in a way, this was her night, her night with Neville. If she justified it in her mind, maybe it would be okay.

Neville ran his hand from her neck, over her champagne colored silk and lace bra, down over her abdomen, over her pelvic bone, to move to the front, where he put his lips. Luna shuddered, as Neville pulled everything down, as she felt his mouth on her, as she felt the waves moving through her.

Neville watched her, then moved himself over her, pushing himself on her, in her. He couldn't help it, didn't want to be anywhere else but here. He knew almost nothing about Luna, nothing about her life, her family, her dreams, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was how he felt right now, how she felt right now.

"Look at me." He whispered to her.

Luna opened her eyes, saw him right over her.

"It's me, inside you. Not someone else, not anyone else."

Luna nodded as she felt a wave go through her again, as she arched her back and cried out, feeling Neville, feeling herself.

Neville let himself go, holding Luna's thighs, standing up, pulling her up to meet his movements. He blacked out for a moment, pulling her off the bed as he collapsed on the edge. Luna felt him holding her, kissed his temple. It was hopeless, she was hopeless.

Neville pulled her to him, never letting go.


	5. morning

**thank you for the story alerts. Neville and Luna love each other. I don't own any characters**

Morning

Luna awoke suddenly, squinting a little bit, the sunlight bright in her eyes. She was disoriented for a moment, unsure of where she was, seeing windows, unknown furniture, her clothing scattered around the room. She sensed someone next to her and turned over, seeing Neville lying there, asleep. He was disheveled, his mouth slightly open, breathing with regularity, his body stretched out underneath the sheets. She was completely covered and she knew it was he who had covered her in the middle of the night. He had awoken her a little bit but she didn't let him know that, just watched him under half-closed eyelids, watched him check his phone, watched get a drink of water, watched him cover her, kissing her mouth, her cheek, her hair, falling back asleep.

She watched him for a few more minutes, then slipped out from the bed, going into the bathroom. She turned on the light, quietly shutting the door and stared at herself in the mirror. Her skin was pale, wan. Her hair fluttered around her, her mouth looked swollen. Her eyes were heavy, like she didn't sleep too much. Or just had sex. Or in this case, both. She turned on the faucet, splashing a little water onto her cheeks, eyes, wiping them with the towel . She brushed her teeth with the carefully provided toothpaste and toothbrush, brushed her hair, did the responsible things she normally did. The responsible person she was other then when she was with Neville. She opened the door quietly and stood there, in the doorway, staring at Neville, lying there in front of her, still sound asleep. Now was her chance. She could get dressed quietly, leave, never see him again. She could just consider this an experiment, one last fling before she married Rolf. Be the good wife that everyone expected. Leave Neville to be the good husband he was supposed to be, should be, could be. But the thought of never seeing Neville again, never hearing his voice, never seeing his eyes focused on her, filled with that look of lust, need, desire, made her dizzy for a second. She clutched the door and caught her breath, overwhelmed by the sudden loss she felt. If she never saw him again, she would slowly die. Luna knew this like she knew she drew breath on a daily basis.

Neville was dreaming, felt himself floating, in that way a person caught between sleeping and waking feels. He was in a cloud, weightless. Light around him, bright then dark, movement then stillness. He had been awake for a few hours before, watching Luna sleeping beside him. He had received two messages from Hannah but hadn't bothered to check them, not wanting to disturb Luna. He had run his hand down her body, had covered her up tightly, holding her. He had finally fallen asleep close to dawn, He suddenly knew that Luna was missing, panicked for a moment that she had left, not saying good-bye to him, not giving him a chance. He would track her down, find her. He would beg her not to leave him, to give him a little bit of her life. He needed her like he needed water, air. He knew this now.

His eyes opened and he sought her out, finding her standing there in the bathroom doorway. Neville turned his gaze on her. Watched her walk over from the doorway to stand there beside him. Neville pulled one arm out from under the sheets and held his hand out to her. Luna hesitated, than took it, allowing him to pull her back into bed, back beside him. He stretched out onto his side, the sheet falling from him, drawing her to his body. Luna moved in close, putting her arms around his waist, placing her cheek into his neck. Neville pulled it back up over the two of them as he positioned Luna up against him, making sure she was comfortable. She looked up at him. He looked down at her.

"Hello Luna."

"Hello Neville."

Luna touched his face, watched him close his eyes, watched him grasp her hand. She didn't know what she was doing. She didn't know why she was still here. She tipped her head upward, kissed his closed eyelids, his eyebrows, forehead, nose, mouth. She wanted to remember him, how he felt, how he smelled, everything.

"Neville, we need to go."

"Shh, I know…"

Neville continued to keep his eyes closed, continued to grasp her hand. He pulled her close, pressing his mouth onto her neck, smelling her. He continued to kiss her neck, chin, lips. He wanted to memorize the way she felt, the taste of her skin, the sound of her voice. Luna closed her eyes as well, not wanting to leave.

"Baby…"

Neville spread her out on the bed, finally opening his eyes. He focused on her, lying there, falling in love with her. He wanted her to understand what he felt for her, that it didn't matter anymore that they weren't going to be together every day. That what he felt was the most important thing.

"When do you have to leave?"

"My flight time is 1pm."

"It's almost eight now."

"I know."

So little time.

Luna didn't want to let him go just yet. She knew his name and that he was engaged to be married. Nothing else. But the little things didn't matter. Birthdays, food likes and dislikes, movies, books.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Navy blue. Yours?"

"Lavender."

"Beautiful. I imagined it would be something like that. Delicate yet a statement color."

"Neville, you're filled with dreams."

"I am Luna, I am."

"Favorite flower."

"Ahhh, too many to choose from, but if I had to pick one it would be the peony."

"Really?"

"Yes. Lush, exuberant. Wonderful scent. Beautiful yet so fragile. Not long lasting at all."

"Yes, you're right." Luna fell silent for a moment. Then she focused her eyes on Neville, carefully wording her next question.

"Tell me one thing no one else knows about you."

He leaned back, propping his head with his hands. Stared at the ceiling for a moment.

"I was a virgin until I was about 24. Everyone else I knew had been with someone, but I was overweight when I was younger, bit goofy. Never found anyone until later." He was a little embarrassed by saying this out loud but she asked the question and this was the first thing that popped into his head. He looked into her silvery grey eyes, saw nothing but openness and trust in them.

"Now you tell me something."

"I don't know what to say."

"Anything baby. I would love to know anything." Little things.

Luna looked at him, Neville looked back. Trusting.

"I never had an orgasm until I was with you last time."

Luna looked away, a little embarrassed that she actually said the words out loud. But she wanted him to know that, know that he was the one who made her feel like a complete person, not alone. Desired. Understood.

Neville looked at her, aroused. He wanted to pull her close to him, make her come again especially now that he knew that he was that special to her. But he wanted her to realize that it wasn't just physical between them. At least he hoped not.

He reached over the bed for his jacket which had been tossed on the floor during their lovemaking the night before, pulling out the small drawstring bag from the inner pocket, the one he had been patting all night long at his engagement party.

Luna watched him, as he dropped something in the palm of his hand, crawling back over to her. He leaned against the headboard, wrapping his arm around her, moving her tight against him. He took her right hand, kissed the palm. Then he slipped on the fourth finger a thin white gold band with small diamonds scattered around it. Luna stared at it. The ring fit like it was made just for her. It was absolutely perfect, made more so because Neville gave it to her. Neville kissed her finger where the ring sat, winking.

"I love you Luna. I do. I know that I have no right to say that to you, no right to expect you to say it back either. I know that we're with other people, that that's the way it has to be but I don't want you to forget that I love you. Not ever."

Luna started to cry, leaning in Neville, kissing him, holding him. He kissed her back, wiping the tears from her face, kissing her neck, shoulder. She clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, entwining her fingers in his hair.

"I love you Neville, so much. I'm so…"

"I know baby…"

Luna kissed his cheek, jaw, neck, held her breath as Neville started to push her back onto the bed. He held her face in the palms of his hands, kissed her gently.

Luna touched his chest, kissed the hollow of his neck, felt his pulse quicken. He pulled her on top of him, watched her as she arched her back, reached up for her. The light from the window glowed, daylight. Luna was lit up, like she was on fire. Neville loved her.

No ceremony, no music. No friends, no witnesses. No flowers, no reception. No honeymoon, no life afterwards. But Luna knew that she was joined with Neville. That all of that didn't matter, not any more.


	6. wedding

**Thank you for all the reviews. Neville and Luna are meant to be together. I don't own any characters**

Wedding

The day of the wedding was very clear, the sky a very bright blue, no clouds. There was a slight chill in the air but not enough to deter the bride from walking down that long pathway from the driveway to the church doors, followed by her stream of bridesmaids, a pretty picture of pinks and purples, cream and blues.

Neville was sitting in the little anteroom with Harry, on the side of the church, waiting for Hannah and her entourage. Harry had said a few words to him during their wait, but since Neville didn't respond, he stopped. Neville himself was in a trance. He had gotten up that morning, showered, dressed in his tuxedo, the colors picked by Hannah and her mother. He knocked on the guest room door where Harry was staying and the two of them went to the church, met by the florist who pinned a small sprig of flowers with a center rose onto his lapel. He then sat down with Harry, for the past hour, waiting. He was desperate to call Luna, desperate to say to her that he loved her, that no matter what happened he would always love her. But he didn't, he had left his phone at his place.

Suddenly though, he knew he didn't have any choice, he had to call her.

"Harry, I need to go back to my place, I forgot something."

"What Neville? I have the rings, the wedding is going to start in about a half hour…"

"I'll be back Harry, just, don't worry."

Neville crept out the side door, running to his car which he had parked far away on the edges of the parking lot. He pulled out, shrinking in his seat so no one would hopefully see him and made the drive to his place in under 15 minutes. He ran up the path, unlocking his door. He saw his phone sitting on the kitchen counter and picked it up. One message. He recognized the number as Luna's. Suddenly, he felt weak, light-headed. What if she was going to say she didn't love him, that he should get married, not think about her anymore?

He pulled up the message, listened to it.

"Hello Neville it's Luna. I wanted to call you today, because I know you're getting married. And, it's all right. I love you. I will always love you. Please…"

The message ended. Neville closed his eyes, leaned against the wall. He listened to her message again and with shaking fingers, dialed her number. It rang and rang, then her voice came on, saying that it was Luna Lovegood, and that the person should leave a message.

"Hello Luna it's Neville. I got your message. I love you honey, so very much. Nothing will ever change about that, nothing. "

He hung up, tossed his cell phone in his desk drawer. He ran back to his car, driving fast to the church. Running across the parking lot, back into the side room where Harry was waiting for him.

"Okay Neville?"

"Okay Harry."

Luna felt her phone vibrating, but didn't pick it up. She was standing in an art museum with her friend Ginny, looking at an exhibit. They had come here for a few hours because Ginny was studying art history at the university and wanted to see this particular artist. They had a reservation for lunch afterwards.

"Luna you haven't heard a word I've said for the past twenty minutes. You've just been staring at this painting."

Luna was startled out of her reverie. She was staring at a field of green grass, a tiny speck of a person in the center. The person was in profile, reaching out and across the expanse of the canvas, there was another person right on the edge, almost off the painting.

"Luna?"

"I'm sorry Ginny, my mind is filled with all these incoherent thoughts today."

"No kidding. Come on, let's go. We'll do lunch, you can tell me what's been bothering you."

The two of them left, walking down the massive stone steps and down onto the busy street. They came to the restaurant ten minutes later, having been seated in a corner booth. It was quiet, just past the lunch rush. Ginny ordered a beer, Luna a vodka tonic. When the drinks came, Luna stared at the lime in the drink, not touching it for a moment. She remembered what Neville did the first time they met. He had rubbed it on his glass with Luna watching him touch his lips to the rim, swallowing. She started to flush a little at the memory, because the next thing he touched with his lips was her mouth.

"Luna? Are you all right?"

Luna sighed, tears welling up in her eyes all of the sudden.

"Oh. What's wrong? Is it Rolf?"

"No, no he's great, we're great. It's not him…it's me." Luna sniffed and felt her tears spill over, falling down her cheeks. She took the napkin off the table, wiped her face. Ginny stared at her, totally in shock. She had never seen Luna cry, not once. Not even when her mother died.

"Oh, Ginny, I don't know what to do."

"Is it wedding jitters? Your wedding is in about three weeks, it's natural to be nervous."

"No Ginny…"

Luna stopped. She really wasn't sure what she was supposed to say exactly. That she had cheated on her fiancé with another man? That this other man cheated on his fiancée with her? That she was in love with Neville, more then she was with Rolf and yet it was impossible for her to feel this way.

The wedding was beautiful. Everyone said so. It was a blur. The ceremony was lengthy, with a full church service. The flowers and the ribbons and everything Hannah wanted did look wonderful, everyone said so. The reception was large, crowded. The DJ played all their favorite songs from the past two years, the bartenders kept the drinks flowing. The photographer caught their image cutting the cake, feeding a piece to each other. Their first dance was quiet, contemplative. Neville danced with Hannah's mother during their dance and she said she was so happy. Hannah was so happy. He was everything she wanted into a son, a welcome member of their family. Pictures of Neville and Harry, pictures of Hannah and her bridesmaids, Neville and the groomsmen, only two of them he could honestly remember their names.

There were really, only two moments Neville could remember clearly. The first was the sight of Hannah coming down the aisle. She was beautiful. Happy. Her father was happy, thrilled to be the one giving her away. Neville looked at all her family and all her friends and for a moment, knew that he was going to be a good husband to her. He would forget about Luna. He would concentrate on being the man he was supposed to be, Hannah's husband. Have a family, build a life.

His second moment came at the end of the night. He was waiting for Hannah, they were headed up to the suite that the planner had booked for them. He was patient, at the bottom of the lobby stairs. Hannah's father was drunk but in a sloppy, goofy kind of way. Her mother was talking with Hannah, friends, family. Brothers and sisters. Neville leaned against the pillar when he heard the elevator door open and someone had stepped in front of someone else. A female voice said Oh, I'm so sorry. The male voice said that's okay and they left. But Neville was struck. His mind was flooded with memories of Luna, the way she looked, the way she smelled, the way she sounded. He recalled her spread underneath him, the way she cried when he put the ring on her finger. He blanked out for a moment, remembering. Then he focused and saw Hannah waving at him. And Neville realized that he needed Luna in his life. Just like he said before, she was the reason for him to breathe, the reason for him to get up every day. If things were different…

Luna sat across from Ginny, sobbing. Ginny waved the waiter away, but not before putting up two fingers and pointing to the drinks they had, asking for another order.

"Luna, what's the matter? It can't be all bad. Really. Just tell me."

Luna wiped her eyes on her sleeves.

"I'm so stupid Ginny. I'm just so stupid…"

"Did you do something? Oh no, you cheated on Rolf didn't you? That's okay, you're not married yet, it was a last fling."

"It wasn't a last fling Ginny. I love him, I do…"

"Who Rolf?"

"No Ginny. Neville."

"This is a guy you met once and slept with once? Where?"

"It was the day that Rolf had his lecture at the hotel, remember? You couldn't make it, it coincided with your last class."

"Right."

"I went to the lecture, Rolf had to leave to get ready for his trip the next day. I stopped off in the restroom and when I came out I ran into this man, oh Ginny, he was something special, I don't know."

"Then what?"

"He told me his name, we were going to walk away and then he asked if I wanted a drink."  
>"You said yes?"<p>

"I did. What was the harm of having a drink in the lobby of a bar in a public place?"

"So what happened?"

"We were finishing up and he leaned across and kissed me. He kissed me and everything changed."

"Luna, it was that good?"

"It wasn't even a question of good Ginny, it was everything. Everything."

"So then you left?"

"No Ginny, I went up to his room with him and we made love."

Ginny leaned back, surprised. She was prepared to hear that Luna had a drink with a stranger, was kissed by a stranger, maybe made arrangements to have dinner at a later date and then sleep with him. But right away

"That must have been some kiss."

"It was. Then he left and I thought okay, one last fling."

"But Ginny, he called me and we talked and we met again. Three nights ago. He flew into town and we spent the night together."

"Oh Luna…that's crazy."

"Yes Ginny it was crazy. I would have left him right then and there, I swear it, but he said he loved me."

"And you believed him? Luna, that's the oldest trick in the book."

"I do Ginny, I don't have any doubt about it. He gave me this ring."

Luna held her hand out and the band that Neville had given her sparkled in the subtle lighting. Ginny looked at it, shook her head.

"So it was a parting gift."

"Maybe."

"Luna, you parted right? I mean, that's over right?"

"I'm sure Ginny, I'm sure that we won't see each other again, but I left him a message on his cell phone…"

Luna took hers out and stared at it. There was a missed call and a voice mail.

"Luna."

She flipped it open, called her voice mail and listened to the message from Neville.

"Luna."

"He loves me Ginny, he just said so."

"That could have been just a message, just to tell you he loves you, always love you, take this ring as a memory, blah blah, I'm getting married, we won't see each other again."

Luna shook her head. It was significant.

"Luna. Tell me."

"He's getting married today."


	7. the night before

**thank you for all the interest in this story. I don't own any characters**

The night before

Luna was sitting with her girlfriends, co-workers, neighbors. They had conspired to give her a combination bridal shower/evening out. She was touched, because she figured that she would probably be alone the night before, staring out the window, wondering what Neville was doing at that moment.

But instead, she was seated at a large round table in a local night spot, Ginny next to her, Hermione across from her, various girls around her, excited, drinking, talking about their boyfriends, husbands, honeymoons. One of her classmates leaned to her, slopping her drink clumsily, it had been about three hours since everyone started drinking.

"So where are the two of you going for your honeymoon?"

"Oh we're not having a honeymoon. Rolf has a series of lectures, I'm going to go with him across the country, then we'll be back in time for the spring semester. I have to finish up my classes, work with my dad."

"Oh, are you disappointed?"

"No, really I'm not."

And it was true. A year ago, if asked, Luna might have said that she was a little upset that there wouldn't be a honeymoon, wouldn't be a week long trip somewhere. But now, every time she thought about her wedding, it seemed like it was an event happening to someone else.

The wedding planner that Rolf arranged took care of everything, from the bunting that would decorate the ceiling of the reception room in the hotel, to the small candles on the tables that had a touch of silver glitter hand painted on them to give a glow to each table. Luna agreed with everything, it was easier that way. The only thing she insisted on was the color of lavender that she would be wearing in her hair and the peonies she demanded to have in her bouquet.

"But Luna, they are expensive this time of year, don't you think that roses would be better? You could even have them lavender if you want, they would look beautiful with the rest of your dress."

"No. I want peonies, I don't care if they are white, pink, whatever. Peonies. At least one."

Rolf looked at the wedding planner, a pleasant woman who shrugged at him.

"This is Luna's wedding as well. If she wants peonies, I will make sure I will get them. It will cost though, because the only place that would have it right now would be probably Hong Kong or Australia. Sending a bouquet overnight, fresh, you're looking at several hundred dollars alone in transport fee."

Rolf looked at Luna, a little exasperated for the first time. Luna shook her head at him.

She hadn't heard from Neville in weeks. Not since the phone call the day of his wedding. She had assumed that she would hear from him, at least once since that call. But there was nothing. No calls, no emails, no letters, nothing. At first, she doubted herself. Maybe he was no longer attracted to her? Maybe he changed his mind. Men did that, Hermione had told her once when she was going through something similar with her boyfriend. They told you they loved you, then got you to do things that you didn't want to do and then no communication whatsoever. Luna hated the idea that Neville might have done that to her, might have used her and then thrown her away. Twice. But still…she looked at the ring she wore on her right hand.

Neville was thinking of peonies as well. He was lined up at the supermarket, buying a few things that Hannah said she needed, she was cooking tonight. They had settled into a kind of routine these past few months. He would get up, get dressed to go to work. Hannah would get up later, do her online classes for her hotel management courses and then go to work as well. She had found a job, doing on-line reservations at one of the major hotels in their city. She made friends easily, was sure that she would be on the pathway to management soon. Neville didn't doubt her, despite what he thought sometimes of her job pathway, there was no doubt that Hannah absolutely made friends and connections very easily.

So here he was, lined up at the checkout with his three items. Pasta, cream and dill. He wasn't sure what she was going to do with it but she was definitely innovative with cooking, trying things that the restaurant at her hotel sometimes featured. He looked over at the right, at the candy selection, debating about whether or not he should buy something sweet. Then he looked to the left and saw the fresh cut flower selection. One flower was a big, hybrid kind of carnation and he suddenly thought of Luna. Not like he didn't think about her almost every day. When he woke up. When he was going to work. When he closed his eyes, talked to anyone, came home, saw his wife. He had avoided contacting her, wanting to give Luna the opportunity to give him up. He owed her that much. He had already verbalized how much he loved her, how much he wanted her. He didn't think she needed to know anymore then that. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she hated him for leaving her without any closure. It had been about a month and a half since they last spoke, he missed her voice.

The night he spent with Hannah, their wedding night, was difficult for Neville. She had said goodbye to her family and friends and went up the elevator with Neville to their suite. It was very nice, silks and linens, cream colors and subtle lighting. Romantic flowers everywhere, beautiful candles lit up and soft music playing. Like a movie setting. Artificial. Which it was in a way, a little contrived for Neville. He didn't want to think this way, so he pushed the thought out of his mind as he waited for Hannah come out from the bathroom. She was dressed in a white lingerie set, small ribbons and sheer. Her hair was pinned up and she wore the necklace he had given to her. He had purchased it at the same time he bought the ring for Luna. Hannah had mentioned how she really admired it so that was easy.

"Hannah, you're beautiful." And this was true.

"Neville I love you so much…"

They spent the night together, like other nights they had spent together. It was sweet, loving, trusting. Neville knew that Hannah relied on him, financially and for affection. He would try, he really would. He would be with her and her family, they would have their own. It would be okay. He did love her.

He left the market, went back home and gave Hannah all the things she needed. There were pots already containing boiling water, Hannah chopping some herbs up while chatting on the phone to one of her friends or family. He went outside to the deck. Neville had bought this house a few years ago, worked on it periodically and they moved in a few days after their return from the honeymoon. Hannah wanted to keep their apartment for when they had work that would keep them in the city and Neville agreed. The house was an oasis for him, far away from work, away from demands on him and his time. Neville was better at dealing with people now then he used to be, better at speaking in public but he still hated it. He preferred the solitude of research, sometimes craving the aloneness, preferring to be lonely at times. Exactly how Luna had explained it to him. But maybe he only craved being alone because he couldn't be with Luna. He hadn't worked it out in his head yet. But he knew that he wanted to talk to her.

Luna went up to the bar, ordered another drink. She was tempted to have a whiskey with lime but didn't want to change up what she was drinking right now, her usual vodka tonics. The music was melancholy right now, a singer saying he was looking for love with a catchy beat and her friends were all having a good time. She was wearing a little tiara that they had given to her. She was a little self-conscious about it but didn't want to offend Hermione by not wearing it.

Hermione was completely drunk by now, saying things about her and Ron. Ginny wasn't around, she was at the other end of the club talking to a few men. Which was a good thing.

"Luna, I'm telling you, you need to keep an eye on Rolf when he's on his lecture tours."

"Yes Hermione?"

"Yup. Women will be all over him now that he will be unavailable; I married Ron and now girls everywhere keep coming on to him. I know he probably slept with a few of them since we've been married."

"Don't say that Hermione, that's not true."

"I work too hard, I never see him, he says that I'm too dedicated. Not enough time for him. Hah that's a laugh…."

Luna shook her head and wasn't sure if Hermione knew what she was saying, saddened because she knew only a few people who were married and clearly no one's marriage was working out the way it was supposed to, like the fairy tales. Happily ever after.

"Hey beautiful, you want a drink?" Some guy standing next to her, moving close to talk.

"No, I'm good, thank you."

"Hey, you're getting married…"

Luna needed some air. This was the third time some guy had tried to buy her a drink, even though she was wearing a tiny tiara and an engagement ring on her left hand. She shouted at one of the other women that she was going outside, going to take a breather. She'd be back in a few and she stepped outside the club, leaning against the brick wall, smiling at the bouncer who nodded at her, watching other people try to get in the club, watching couples walking hand in hand, cars driving by, listening to the chatter.

She felt her phone vibrate in her small handbag and pulled it out, answering it without looking, it was probably Ginny anyway, asking where she was right now.

"Hello?"

"Hello Luna."

She closed her eyes, a feeling of overwhelming relief pouring over her.

"Hello Neville."

"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm standing outside a club, it's my bachelorette party and my girlfriends are all inside, getting drunk."

Neville smiled. "I was just thinking where else would Luna be right now, of course at a nightclub, did you dress up?"

"A little bit, they insisted I wear a little tiara and a sash that says bride-to-be but I took the sash off when they were all too hammered to know the difference." Luna heard Neville laughing slightly and she leaned against the wall, comfortable now that he was on the phone.

"And your wedding plans?"

"I wanted peonies for my bouquet and you should have seen the look that Rolf and the wedding planner gave to each other when I insisted."

"I can imagine, they are out of season right now. Expensive but worth it."

There was a silence for a while, both of them listening to each other breathing.

"How was your wedding?"

"Nice. Crowded."

Luna smiled. She somehow knew that Neville wouldn't enjoy such a large gathering.

"Where did you go on your honeymoon?"

"We spent one night in the hotel where we were married and then went to the islands."

"Nice. Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Baby…" Neville lowered his voice and got up from the deck chair, moved to the farthest end of the lawn, watching Hannah through the kitchen window.

"I wanted to call you. But I wasn't sure what we are supposed to do now. It's different now that you're getting married, now that I'm married. Before, we could say it was a fling, an experience. But now…"

"I know Neville. I know that you want to end this."

"No! No, Luna I don't. I miss you more than before I even got married, I saw flowers at the supermarket and thought of you, I get up first thing in the morning and wish you were next to me, I sit in a meeting and picture you, I would prefer to be alone, lonely because it makes me think I'm closer to you."

"I love you Luna, I don't know what to do…"

"Luna?"

Ginny was standing there, looking at Luna. She mouthed "the guy?" and Luna nodded. Ginny moved to the side, watching her.

"Neville, it will be all right. I love you too, I don't know what to do either…"

"Neville?"

Neville looked up and saw Hannah there in front of him, looking at him curiously. He had somehow wandered into the corner of the yard where there were weeds, garbage pails, leaves and he hadn't even noticed, he was so involved with talking to Luna.

He covered the phone and said "Work Hannah, I'll be in a few minutes."

She nodded and went back towards the house. Neville waited and then put the phone back to his ear.

"Luna?"

"Yes Neville, was Hannah there?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, my girlfriend was here, she could hear a little bit."

"Is that going to be a problem for you?"

"No, I think I needed for someone to know a little about what I was going through."

"Okay."

"I have to go now Neville."

"I know. Luna…"

"Yes?"

"I love you okay? We'll figure something out. I'll call you next week, arrange for us to meet."

Luna nodded into the phone, not realizing that Neville couldn't see her. Or maybe he could because that's exactly what he envisioned she was doing as she hung up.

"Luna, what are you doing?"

"He called me Ginny. I just wanted to talk to him, make sure I'm doing the right thing."

"You're not going to see him again after you're married are you?"

"I doubt it Ginny."

Luna lied to Ginny just like she lied to herself. If Neville asked her to see him, she wouldn't hesitate. She would be there. Just like he said. They would need to work something out.

"Neville is everything okay?"

"Yes Hannah, just some research questions."

Hannah set out the meal, talked about her day, talked about her family. Neville listened absentmindedly, knowing that tomorrow Luna would be married and they would be on equal footing again. It would be all right. Just like he said. They would figure something out. And soon.


	8. steps

**Thank you for the alerts, this is a mature story. I don't own any characters.**

Steps

Luna went into the shower, knowing she had to wash herself, clean the scent of sex off of her. She turned on the shower, hot, bringing in the shampoo she had started using since they have been visiting this hotel chain. Luna got in, feeling the water hitting her skin. She didn't want to wash Neville's scent off her just yet, wanted to keep him on her for a while longer. But she had to leave pretty soon, and it would be best if she didn't look like she had just fell out of bed, after being with him for over 14 hours straight.

She stepped out, wrapping the bathrobe around her and combed her hair. She went back into the bedroom, looking over at Neville on the bed. He was asleep and she watched him, his chest steadily moving up and down, in a slow rhythm. She loved watching him as he slept, sometimes she wished they could be together for more than one night, once every few months. But wishful thinking right now…

She slid into the bed next to him, laying her arm across his chest. Neville turned to her, wrapping his arm around her waist, drawing his hand up her back. Still with his eyes closed, he started to tug at bathrobe, pulling it off her shoulders.

"Neville I can't…"

"Umm…."

He continued to tug it off and Luna let him. The sheet fell away and Luna's eyes were drawn to him, he was hardening again. His eyes still closed, Neville leaned in, placing his lips on her throat. She shuddered, feeling his hands reach under her bathrobe, cup her bottom, pulling her up against him. She turned and kissed him, feeling him against her stomach. Neville's hands slid up her back, arms, shoulders to her face and he kissed her hard, pushing the robe off, climbing on top of her. He ran his hands up her arms and cupped her face, staring at her for a moment. Luna shivered, because he always looked like he was so lucky to be here, with her, like she was the prize he was waiting for all of his life. Neville started to kiss her eyebrows, forehead, cheeks, nose, mouth. Tender. Loving.

A phone started to buzz. Luna looked around and realized it was hers. Neville was still kissing her, ignoring the vibrating noise.

"Please, I have to get this."

She reached for her bag, saw that it was Rolf, put a finger up to her lips.

"Hello Rolf."

"Where have you been Luna?"

"I'm sorry, I ran into someone I knew after the lecture, had dinner with her."

"Oh, well, I was worried, I called your apartment and no one answered. I've been calling your cell, where are you?"

"I just left home, I was so tired from yesterday, I'm sorry I didn't answer your messages."

"I didn't leave any, I've got to go, just wanted to make sure you're okay." Click

Luna dropped the phone, looking at Neville who had lay still beside her, eyes closed as she was talking to Rolf.

"I missed six phone calls from Rolf."

Neville leaned over to the bedside table and picked up his cell phone, scrolling down.

"I have you beat, I missed nine from Hannah."

"She knows that you're out of town right?"

"Yes." Neville didn't take his eyes off the phone, Luna sighed and started to turn away, get up from the bed. Neville reached out with his free hand and caught her arm, pulling her back in, close beside him. He dropped the phone and turned to kiss her.

"Hi."

"Hi."

He continued to kiss her, continued to hold her arm, his other hand, reaching down between her legs, pushing them apart and reaching for her tight center.

Neville wanted nothing more than to lie here next to Luna, nothing more than to keep looking at her, her eyes heavy lidded from sex, sleep, desire. He was hard again, wanted her on top. He pulled her up so she was seated on his abdomen, running his hands up her front, down her hips.

Her hair spilled out everywhere, she moaned as he pushed inside her, as her abdomen built up a deep ache, as his hands cupped and squeezed her breasts. Neville thrust into her faster and faster, shouting her name as he came.

Neville had called her a week after she was married to Rolf. She thought about her wedding day as she returned his call.

There was Mr. Lovegood, giving Luna away and Rolf's family members. Ginny and Hermione were there as her bridesmaids along with Rolf's brother and cousin as his groomsmen. It was subdued, calming. A little bit unreal to Luna, as she watched as Rolf slipped the wedding band onto her left hand. She had placed her engagement ring on her right hand, right next to the ring that Neville had given to her. It seemed right.

The reception was at a small restaurant, and was really quite nice. Luna, despite her earlier trepidation, enjoyed herself. She was unsure if this wedding really represented her. It was mostly Rolf and the wedding planner's vision but in the end, it did reflect what Luna wanted. Mostly because there were peonies everywhere and lavender bunting and candles, fairy lights and her thoughts.

The wedding night was quiet too. She and Rolf had been together before, he was thoughtful, loving, sweet. Luna decided that night that she would try to be the wife he needed her to be, more supportive, try to forget Neville. A good partner. She knew that Rolf loved her, would always love her.

And she did try. For the week. Until he called her. Until he left her a message that said that he was thinking of her, wanted to see her.

She waited two days before contacting him.

"Hello?"

"Hello Neville."

She could hear a sigh on his end. "Hello Luna. I was afraid you wouldn't return my phone call."

"No Neville I would never do that."

"I know, I don't know why I was worried."

"How are you?"

"I'm good Luna. And you?"

"I'm good."

"How was your wedding?"

"It was nice. Quiet."

She stopped, then blurted out what her true feelings were. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. Can we meet?"

"Yes, please."

"Same hotel?"

"Okay."

"A week from this Friday, I will book the room."

Luna hung up, looked at her calendar, planned what she would say to Rolf. It turned out that she didn't need to say anything, for he was going to be out of town, teaching a series of guest lectures. Luna nodded absent-mindedly when he told her, automatically said that she would miss him. And she would. But it also meant she didn't have to come up with an excuse, a lie to see Neville.

She went up to the room, the same one as the one they were in the last time. She wondered if Neville asked for this one specifically. She knocked, he opened the door and let her in. She went over to the sofa, dropping off her coat and as she turned, he knocked her down into the seat, grabbing her and kissing her hard. Luna wrapped her arms around his neck, felt his hair, felt the same pull between the two of them as the last time. Like nothing had changed. Like it didn't matter that the two of them were married, to different people. She inhaled his scent, listened to him as he licked her neck, opened her shirt, nuzzled her breasts. Watched him as he removed her skirt, pull down her underpants, open her legs. Felt him as he entered her, making her shudder within minutes, waves of pleasure, pain going through her.

"Tell me what's been going on in your life since the wedding."

"Okay. I finished my last course at the university, now I have to develop a thesis, maybe I will try for a doctorate degree. The apartment is coming along, I need to order a new sofa, I don't like the one that's in there right now."

"Sounds nice Luna."

Neville couldn't keep his eyes off her, couldn't stop himself from touching her. He loved how her skin felt, smooth, soft, yielding to him. He loved how she tasted, sweet, salty, silky. Loved how she felt, when he placed his fingers inside her, loved how she sounded when he was inside her. Loved her.

"What about you Neville?"

"I completed the last research project with a positive result, we are going to send the studies to a pharmaceutical company, they will see if they want us to continue on this theme. We moved into the house I was telling you about before, it still needs a little bit of work but I'm doing it slowly. I've got time."

Luna listened to his voice as his hand caressed her face.

"Neville?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Do you think that this can continue?"

Neville thought about that comment for a moment before answering.

"Yes Luna. I do think so. I think we started as lovers, but we are going to end up as friends."

"You mean we will stop craving each other?"

"No Luna. I think I will always want you, always need you. But the longer we are with each other, the more we will find out about each other and it will only enhance our relationship."

"Do you….never mind."

"No Luna, tell me."

"Do you think if we weren't with other people when we first met, we would have ended up, you know, married to each other?"

"I don't know Luna. I really don't. I would like to think so but maybe the reason why we are with each other is we complete what we are lacking with our spouses."

"What are you lacking Neville?"

"I'm not sure. Can I answer that the next time I see you?"

Luna smiled. "Yes Neville."

Neville smiled back at her.

"Do you want a drink with me?"

Luna smiled wider. "Yes please."


	9. following you

**thank you for the reviews and interest in this story. This is a mature chapter. I don't own any characters.**

Following you

Hello?

Hello Neville.

Hello Luna.

I'm in your city tomorrow, can we meet?

Yes baby, tell me where you are and I will be there.

Okay, love you.

Love you too.

Hannah stretched out beside him, reached for him, caressing his back. Neville turned to her and kissed her on the mouth as he stood up, naked, going to the shower. He stood there, letting the water pour over him, washing away the last few minutes he had spent with Hannah. Then he dressed as he always did, as he had the last two years. Casually, not really thinking about what he was wearing. He was lucky that his clothing matched, probably because Hannah made sure that everything he had in his closet was appropriate. He pulled on a v-neck sweater, zipped up a pair of tan pants.

It took him months to reconcile in his mind that he was with two women. Took him months to understand what he was doing, what he was going to do. Every time he thought he was going to leave Hannah, he would look at her, listen to her, be with her and her family and realize that this was the life he was supposed to live. Every time he met with Luna, he understood that she wasn't going to leave her life for him, that she didn't want to hurt her husband Rolf. And that was enough for him. He would never do anything to hurt Luna, would never do anything to give her one moment of unhappiness in her life.

He said that to her the last time, after they slept together, after Neville held her and couldn't let go.

"I would never hurt you Luna."

"I know Neville. I would never hurt you either."

"I mean, the minute that you feel that this isn't going to work, let me know. I won't be happy, I will try to convince you that it's a bad decision, but I want you to be sure. I don't want the reason for your unhappiness to be your relationship with me."

"Baby…"

Luna pulled away from him, stared at his face. He looked tired, she touched the new line that had developed between his brow. Kissed it gently.

"Being with you makes me happy. Sometimes I feel like I'm drifting, not sure what I'm doing. Having you in my life gives me purpose. Even if I can't have you every moment, every day."

"Is that enough?"

"I don't know Neville. But it is going to have to be enough right now."

Neville was meeting Harry for lunch today, it had been a couple of months since they had talked, they hadn't seen each other since the wedding. Hannah was dressing when he got out of the shower, combing her hair and going through her planner.

"Say hi to Harry for me, don't forget we're supposed to be at my parents place for dinner tonight."

"I won't, see you later."

Neville left the house, drove the thirty minutes to the city. It took him a while to find a parking spot but he did, hurrying to meet Harry at the bar, only a few minutes late.

"Hey Harry."

"Hey Neville, want a drink?"

"Definitely, sorry I'm late. Whiskey please." He gestured to the bartender, thanking her. He turned away from bar, scanned the crowd while listening to Harry.

"You're not late, I just got here myself. Table's not ready yet anyway."

Neville accepted his drink, relaxed. Harry was dressed nicely today in a suit with casual shirt, the waitresses were looking at him.

"What's been going on in your life?"

"Usual. Work at the paper, sleep, that's about it."

"No one yet?"

"Nah, I'm too busy, editing is a single man's job Neville. When I make the desk I'll find a girl, settle down like you, you old man."

Neville smiled and finished his drink, signaling for another one.

"Doesn't stop the waitresses here looking at you."

"You're crazy Neville, they're staring at you."

"Huh? I don't think so Harry."

"You never thought you were good enough for anyone, table's ready, let's go I'm starving."

Neville followed him, thinking about what Harry had just said. They settled down at a table, Neville absent-mindedly smiling at the women at the next table, one of them an attractive blonde who blushed back at him. Harry shook his head. "See? Even when you're not trying to, you're attracting the ladies, no wonder I can't find someone when you're around."

Neville smiled but realized with a start that he could care less that a woman found him attractive. He only wanted one woman to find him handsome, care for him, love him.

"Harry I'm seeing someone." He blurted out without thinking. For a moment he regretted saying the words out loud. But it felt better having someone know what he was doing, what he was feeling.

"What?"

"Yeah, I met her before I married Hannah."

"Good Lord Neville, are you kidding?"

"No, I love her, I can't live without her."

"You've been having an affair since you were married?"

"Before Harry, before. She's married too so…"

"Neville, that's crazy."

"I know."

"Why can I ask? I mean, you said you loved Hannah, you said that the day of your engagement party before you flew out…wait a minute, you were flying out to see her the next day?"

"Yes, I did. I needed to know that she would still be with me despite everything."

Harry stared at Neville. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't shocked by what he was saying. All this time and Neville had been having an affair. He didn't say anything, there was nothing to say.

Neville closed his eyes, waiting for the admonishments to begin. He didn't care, no one understood.

"Neville."

"Yes Harry."

"Does she make you happy?"

He opened his eyes to find Harry looking at him seriously, concerned.

"Yes Harry. Without her, I don't think I could stay with Hannah, don't think I could face each day."

"Am I going to meet her?"

"I don't think so Harry but I'll ask her. But I don't think so."

"She knows about your married life?"

"Yes. I tell her about what I'm doing on the house, what I'm doing at work. When I need to get the tires replaced on my car, what I'm buying at the supermarket."

"Do you talk about Hannah or her husband?"

"No, not really. We avoid them. There's no need to talk about them, we just talk about ourselves. Harry, it's like she's a drug, like if I don't talk to her at least once a week, don't think about her so often, I lose myself."

"Neville, I don't know what to say. That's kind of, I don't know. Uncontrolled, I guess."

"Yes Harry. Yes it is."

"What's she like?"

Neville thought for a moment, waiting for the waitress to place their entrees down.

"She's petite, blonde, with the most beautiful grey silver eyes I've ever seen. Like I could drown in them. Her voice is higher pitched, like she's sighing at me. She listens to me, lets me talk about my day, my research. And when I'm with her, Harry, it's like I died. I don't want to leave sometimes. I don't want to wake up and not see her beside me."

"Do you think it's because you're not together every day, because Neville, you know that marriage is hard. The day to day stuff is what makes a couple better, the daily grind. You know all the other person's faults and you still love them. Develop together, that sort of thing."

"It's possible Harry. I try not to think about it too much. I think of it as enhancing my life, that being with Luna makes it possible for me to be with Hannah. Whatever is lacking in my life with Hannah, I can make up with Luna. I don't know if that makes sense."

"It doesn't Neville, not really. But what do I know is just make sure that Hannah doesn't find out."

"I won't Harry. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want Luna to hurt her husband either. I just want her to be happy."

"She's happy being with you?"

"I think so. I really hope so."

Neville thought about this conversation the next day when he went to the hotel. He had never been here before, not having a need to be in a hotel in the city he lived in.

He was a little concerned too, though he knew this wasn't a hotel chain that Hannah or any of her friends worked in. Still though, sometimes he was tempted to purchase another house, just for himself and Luna. As if his life wasn't crazy enough. He wanted her to go away for a few days with him sometimes. As if that were possible. Maybe one day…

Neville went through the lobby quickly and to the elevators, entering an empty car and watching the doors shut. The hotel was a small boutique one, very eclectic, kind of like Luna he thought. The elevator car was blackened wood, with a dark metallic finish. The music was very different, he thought he recognized the singers, sort of operatic, sort of club-like. He pressed the number 14, rode the car quickly and stepped out to the right. He went down the hallway and saw Luna leaning against the wall, watching him walk towards her. His heartbeat quickened. She looked so beautiful, her blonde tresses spilling out around her shoulders, wearing high-heeled boots, bright tights, short skirt. Luna smiled at him and his heart stopped, like it always did when she smiled at him. Even after all this time. Like it was the first time they met. She let him go into the room first, following him in and closing the door with a soft click. The room was small, cozy and dark except for the one lamp lit by the bed. The city was lit up, he could see the lights blinking on and off on various buildings.

He turned to face her and she pushed her hand against his chest, moving him to the bed. He took off his jacket, she unbuttoned his shirt and pressed her lips against his skin. Neville watched as she unbuckled his belt, undid his pants, pushing aside his boxers. He closed his eyes when Luna took his hard member in her hands, wrapping her mouth around him, taking him in. He gripped her head, feeling pressure concentrate into his stomach, his abdomen, feeling himself build up, painful, wanting to release. He shouted out her name, blacking out for a second as he spilled out onto her, into her. He fell back on the bed and with his eyes still closed, pulled Luna up onto his chest, feeling the soft skin of her thighs and waist. He heard her whisper his name, heard her whisper she had missed him and he smiled. He knew why he was here now. Knew why he needed to be here now. It wasn't just the physical attraction. It was everything.

"Luna I would die without you."

"Shhh Neville, don't say that…"

"I love you."

Luna pressed her hands to his face, looking at him seriously. Then she kissed him softly.

"I love you too Neville." I'd be lost without you.

Luna thought about the conversation she had with Ginny not even two days ago. They were at a bar, having a drink. Luna had started drinking whiskey and Ginny had commented on it.

"Why are you drinking whiskey now?"

Luna shrugged, than took a sip.

"It's him isn't it?"

"Yes Ginny. He drinks whiskey and when I drink it, I think of him."

"Well, it's strange."

"No Ginny, what's strange is when I'm with him, I am upset because I know that at some point the next day he's going to leave me and I don't want him to leave and he just got here to be with me."

"Luna, are you insane?"

Ginny had put down her drink, was staring at Luna. Incredulous that Luna was having an affair.

"You're having an affair, are you insane?"

"Yes Ginny maybe I am."

"I mean, I thought that you weren't going to see him again, after you got married."

"I thought so too Ginny. But when he calls me, when he says he wants to see me, I can't say no."

"Then he's using you don't you think?"

Luna shook her head, exasperated. No one understood what she felt for Neville, what Neville felt for her. She should never have said anything. But still, she couldn't keep what she felt inside all the time.

Ginny stared at her drink. Then she said the next words very quickly, very low.

"I'm jealous Luna, that's what it is. I'm jealous. I mean, you have your marriage to Rolf, your career, and now you have this other man in your life who would jeopardize his own marriage to be with you and it's like you have everything you ever wanted and I have none of that, no one in my life."

Luna put her hand on Ginny's shoulder.

"Ginny, I treasure the friendship that you and I have so much. You are going to find that right person. There's nothing to be jealous about, I'm not doing the right thing at all and you know it. But I can't stop Ginny, because I love him."

Luna thought about that conversation as Neville pulled her towards him, pressing his mouth onto hers, pushing his tongue inside to meet hers, seeking, exploring like the first time they were together. Hard, yet soft. Harsh yet yielding. His hand trailed a path from her breasts, weighing their heaviness, rubbing her tips, to her waist, over her navel, pausing for a moment and then down between her legs. Luna felt the same waves of desire, always the same, never changed, come over her again as she stared into Neville's eyes, as he pressed his fingers inside her, rubbing her folds, feeling her slick skin, whispering how beautiful she was, as she settled her head against his arm and chest. As she came, shuddering, Neville's mouth reaching her swollen center. As she fell asleep. Safe. Cherished. Loved.


	10. it's mine

**thank you for the alerts and reviews. I don't own any characters, just my imagination.**

Its mine

His phone rang. He looked at it, frowning a little. He never gave his cell phone number out and this wasn't one he recognized. He picked it up, "Hello"

"Is this Neville Longbottom?" A woman's voice said.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I'm Ginny Weasley. I'm a friend of Luna Lovegood?"

This wasn't good.

"She's been in an accident."

Neville dropped the phone, his heart stopping. He scrambled around the floor, picking it back up, shouting in it "Hello? Hello?"

"It's okay, I'm here it's okay Neville, she's in the hospital…"

"Shit, is she all right?"

"I don't know, she was, she was with her husband Rolf? And apparently a car hit her or something, she…"

"Fuck, fuck, where is she?"

"It's okay, Neville, please, it's okay, she's at Central here in the city but…"

He hung up, grabbing his jacket. He ran out the lab, down the hallway, startling his colleagues, his employees, they had never seen him like this.

He ran out the building, dialing Harry. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.

"Hello?"

"Harry, it's Neville, I have to leave town for a day or two, explain to Hannah when she gets back."

"What?"

"Harry, Luna's in the hospital, I'm getting on a plane as soon as I get to the airport."

"Neville, how can I explain that?"

"Say I'm at a research meeting I don't care. I'll call you when I get there."

He hung up, flagging down a cab, going to the airport.

He sat in the cab, worrying, not even thinking if her husband would be there, not even thinking if any of her friends would wonder who this crazy looking guy was, running into her hospital room. Neville didn't care, he needed to see her, make sure she was okay.

He ran up to the airport counter, the ticket agent concerned, security starting to move towards him. He must look crazy.

"I need, I need, Oh God…"

"Sir. Calm down sir, it's okay, just tell me what it is you need?"

The agent helped him, assigning him a back row seat in a flight leaving in an hour. He didn't bother buying a return ticket, not sure of what he was going to encounter when he saw Luna.

He went through security, no luggage, and ran down to the gate. They were boarding already, he was almost sobbing with relief.

He found his seat, breathing hard, almost hyperventilating. The woman to the right looked at him curiously. The guy on the left of him also stared at him because now Neville was leaning forward, placing his face in his hands, trying not to cry, trying not to worry without seeing her.

"You okay?"

Neville nodded without looking up. He felt a hand on his shoulder, he started to sob.

"It's okay, it's okay…"

"It's not, she's in the hospital…"

"Oh no, your wife?" the woman asked.

"Yes."

Neville didn't even think about what he was saying, he just knew that upon hearing the news that Luna was in the hospital, his heart had stopped. He didn't even give one thought to Hannah and that was something he was going to have to deal with when he returned.

"She'll be okay man." The guy on his left said and passed him a drink that he had just bought from the flight attendant.

"Thanks, thanks…"

The flight was too long in Neville's mind. He spent the entire time staring at his lap, staring at his hands, staring at the seat in front of him. When they landed, apparently the entire plane knew what he was going through since the guy next to him said something to the flight attendant. Everyone stayed seated as he bolted down the aisle, out the door first. The woman called out to him as he ran, saying she hoped that his wife would be all right. Neville ran out the door, ran down the flight ramp, ran to the cab stand and gave the hospital address that Ginny had sent to him.

He burst through the doors of the emergency room and looked wildly around. He wasn't sure what to do, he was one step away from screaming out her name, see if anyone responded to him then.

"Neville?"

He turned, saw a red-haired girl there, her face stark.

"The baby?" Ginny looked at him, surprised. "I mean, Luna?"

"She's down in ICU. Neville, her husband is upstairs with her, please, just go into the bathroom, clean yourself first. You don't look, umm, so good."

"What happened?"

"I'm not really sure Neville, I think it was a car accident. Rolf called me, said that they were in the hospital and Luna was unconscious. I knew that she would want you to know, because, well, because. The doctors are nervous because she's pregnant and there may be something wrong with the babies."

Neville nodded then stared at Ginny. "Babies?"

"Twins."

He leaned against the wall suddenly. Luna was having twins. His twins. He wanted to grab hold of her, wanted to make sure she was okay. Ginny was staring at him, horror on her face all of the sudden, as the truth of Luna's pregnancy came to her.

"Oh my God."

"No, no it's okay, it's okay. It's what Luna wants." He didn't say another word, knowing that what he had said was enough.

He let himself be led to a restroom, pushed in by Ginny. He stumbled over to the sink, splashing water on his face, wetting his hair and combing it with his fingers. He looked at himself in the mirror, he looked terrible. Haggard. Freaked out. Horrified.

His cell phone started ringing and he fished it out of his pocket, looking at the name. Harry.

"Harry."

"Neville, I explained to Hannah that one of your research groups was having an emergency breakthrough and you had to rush out to be there for the final something. I have no idea what I'm talking about…"

"It's fine Harry, she doesn't know, she doesn't really care…"

"Neville?"

"Harry, talk to this girl Ginny, she's Luna's friend. I have to go to her." Neville walked out of the restroom and handed his phone to Ginny as she sent him to the elevator, mouthing the word floor six. The doors closed and he rode up slowly.

The doors opened and Neville stepped out to a nursing station, manned by two nurses.

"Luna Lovegood, please, please."

"Sir, you can't see her, she's still unconscious."

"Please, please, I need…" He started to cry. The nurse looked at him, didn't say a word. She stepped out from behind the desk and took his arm. Leading him over to the side, away from the other staff and people.

"It's okay, she'll be fine. She's not conscious though, not yet but soon the doctors say, soon. You need to let her rest."

"Let me see her, let me see her, please."

The nurse shook her head and pointed to the room she was in, the door closed. Neville strode over, stared at her through the window.

"Baby…" he whispered. Luna was so small, so pale, her hair spread all of the pillow. He wanted to go in, wanted to touch her, make sure that she was still alive. He remembered the last time they saw each, about two months ago. They were sitting in the hotel room, Neville was taking off Luna's skirt after having removed his jacket and shirt, pants already undone, kissing her thighs. Luna gently took his hands, shook her head and all of the sudden, tears started in the corners of her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Neville was upset, sat down beside her on the bed.

"Luna, what's wrong?"

"Neville, I'm pregnant."

He looked into her face, searching. Luna couldn't close her eyes, holding his gaze. She expected him to be upset but he wasn't. He knew.

"It's mine isn't it." Neville didn't ask as a question. He just made a statement.

Luna took a deep breath, shuddering a little.

"Yes." She started to tear up again.

"Oh Luna, don't cry."

She couldn't help it, she started to, not because she was unhappy but because the look in Neville's face was so tender, so loving that she wanted more than anything to be with him.

He took her face in his hands, kissed her softly, gently. Held her tight against him. His baby Luna. Having his baby.

"I don't want Rolf to know Neville. I don't."

"Luna…"

"No Neville, and you can't say anything to Hannah either. I can't do this anymore, I'm staying with Rolf and you're staying with Hannah."

He held her tight, his hand on her abdomen then he guided her to the bed. He knelt by her feet, taking off her boots, his shoes.

"Hannah is so happy with you, she loves you so much…"

Neville slipped off her sweater, skirt, lifted her up in his arms, placed her gently on the pillows.

"I can't do this Neville, I can't…"

Neville wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. Kissed her eyebrows, her cheeks. Her mouth. He held her in his lap, half-clothed, rocking her like she was a child.

Luna didn't know what she was doing. She was pregnant with Neville's baby, married to a man she loved despite what she was doing, being kissed by a man who also loved his wife.

"Neville, what are we doing?" she whispered quietly.

"Shh, it's okay. I love you, I just want to be in your life."

"I don't know how we got here."

"Shhh, whatever you want. But don't leave me, don't leave me..."

Neville opened her shirt, nuzzling her breasts. Whispering that he loved her. Luna moved to straddle him, kissing him, feeling the same desire build up as he entered her. Luna held his shoulders, arching her back, coming hard, whimpering.

They had fallen asleep not long afterwards, Neville holding her, his hand on her abdomen.

He remembered all of this as he stared at her, then turned as he heard someone come up beside him.

There was a tall slender blonde haired man there. Luna's husband Rolf he assumed.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Neville Longbottom, I'm a friend of Luna's. Ginny called me when she heard what happened."

"Oh, well, there was a small accident I'm afraid."

Small accident? Neville was angry all of the sudden. How could this guy, Luna's husband not sound more concerned? His wife, his pregnant wife, had an accident and he made it seem like he dropped a sock behind the dryer.

"Yes, well what happened?"

"I was driving to a meeting, Luna was in the passenger seat and someone hit us on her side. She fainted, but the doctors say it is probably just her reaction. The accident wasn't too bad."

"She's pregnant right?"

Rolf looked at him with surprise, Neville angry at himself that he had actually said something out loud, but not sure if he cared right now.

"Yes, she told you?"

"Ginny told me, she said the baby was okay."

"Yes, well, the doctor said everything is fine but he wanted to keep her here for observation overnight just in case. Luna fainted, and she hit her head pretty hard against the window so… She's pretty early in the pregnancy, about four months, so hopefully everything will be all right."

Neville stared at Rolf who looked at him complacently. He wanted to strike him, wanted to knock him down. Asshole.

"Mr. Scamander?"

Rolf turned to the doctor and with a pointed look at Neville, walked down the hallway with him. Neville ran his hand through his hair and stumbled to a chair. He looked up to see the girl Ginny coming down towards him.

"Here's your phone. I spoke with your friend Harry he wants you to call him back when you have a chance. He's worried for you."

"Thanks . Ginny right? Thanks."

"You're welcome. Was that the doctor talking to Rolf?"

"Yeah. What an asshole."

"Who?"

"Luna's husband. He didn't even sound worried for her."

"Neville. He is worried for her, that's just his way, he's a calm kind of guy."

Neville shook his head. Ginny looked at him curiously. She wasn't sure what Luna saw in this man. He was tall, attractive in an average kind of way. A little messy but that was probably because he just spent the last few hours rushing here. But then he glanced up at her and she was struck by the look in his eyes. Naked. Emotional. If this was the look he gave to her, a virtual stranger, then what he shows to Luna must be a thousand times more powerful. Because he clearly loved her.

Rolf left the doctor and came down towards them.

"They think that the babies are okay, they're just waiting for Luna to regain consciousness. Ginny, I have to head back to the house, contact my family about Luna. Can you stay here with her?"

"Of course Rolf. Don't worry. She'll be all right I know it."

Rolf nodded his head, than held his hand out to Neville who took it, ashamed of his behavior beforehand.

Rolf walked away and Ginny looked through the window at Luna.

"She's special."

Ginny started at the whispered words beside her.

"Can I ask why?"

"Why she's special?"

"No, why you and she are doing what you are doing."

"Because we love each other. That's the only reason. Because I'd die without her."

Ginny heard the words, knew that Neville meant them.

"You met once in a lobby bar a couple of years ago?"

"In front of an elevator. I ran into her. I bought her a drink and kissed her. I couldn't leave her after that."

"Even though you were getting married."

"Even though I was getting married."

"Even though she was getting married."

"Even though she was getting married. Ginny…"Neville turned to face her. "I'm not defending what I'm doing. I know that it's wrong. I only know that being with Luna makes me happy, makes her happy. That's all I can ask for in this life."

"You're hurting your wife and her husband."

"Not if they don't know about us. And that's what Luna wants Ginny. What she wants."

Ginny shook her head, went into the room, Neville following her. They stood over Luna and watched her for hours, waiting for her to stir. Neville longed to kiss her, touch her but knew that he couldn't. He settled for taking her hand in his gently, caressing her palm with his thumb.

"I'd do anything for you."

Ginny could hear him talking to Luna, could hear him whispering the words of love she imagined he said to her all the time. And she was a little jealous. That Luna had her husband and Neville. Both who loved her in their own way, both who only wanted the best for her. She sighed a little, then started to smile because Luna opened her eyes.

"Luna we were so worried."

"Ginny, is it okay? Are the babies okay?"

"Yes Luna, Rolf left to tell his family. He'll be back soon. And, I called Neville."

Luna turned to look at Neville. He looked so woebegone, she felt terrible.

"I'm sorry to worry you Neville, did you fly out here?"

"Yes, it's okay, I would do anything for you."

"Was it difficult to explain to Hannah?"

"No, she's out of town this weekend. I had to explain to a friend of mine though but I think he already knew about us. He and your friend Ginny spoke."

"Oh…" Luna closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset Neville, I'm kind of glad that someone knows, can listen to you. Like Ginny does for me."

Ginny smiled through sudden tears. Luna trusted her and she was going to keep her trust, no matter what. She was closer to Luna then her own family, even her sister-in-law Hermione.

She left the two of them, hearing Luna whisper to Neville "I love you." Watching Neville kiss her on the forehead, on her mouth. Watching for Rolf.


	11. needing you

**Thank you for all the alerts. This is a mature chapter. I don't own any characters.**

Needing you

Hello Luna

Hello Neville

Are you okay?

Yes. I miss you.

I miss you too. I'll see you next week.

Luna was waiting for her train. It was pretty early in the day, she had just seen her sons off to camp, they would be gone for the week. Rolf was out of town as well, his book tour was pretty successful. Her father said that for a non-fiction title about animals, the sales were actually pretty good. Luna had nodded absent-mindedly at the time, her thoughts turn to different things.

They had moved to the suburbs several years ago, having decided that an apartment was not going to be sufficient for one baby, never mind two. The house was nice, it had a pretty big yard in back, needed some work but they had time.

Her train arrived and she climbed aboard, finding a seat and settling in for the hour long ride. She smiled at the man opposite her but as soon as it looked like he might want to talk with her, she closed her eyes in order to avoid conversation. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

She got off at her station, moving through the crowds and walked the short distance to the restaurant where she was meeting Ginny.

Ginny was already there, perusing a menu, waving to her.

"Hi Luna!"

"Hi Ginny."

The two of them settled down and ordered, Ginny had a beer and Luna ordered a whiskey, lime on the side. Ginny shook her head, smiling.

"How is Harry?"

"He's good Luna. I'm supposed to fly out to see him next week."

Harry and Ginny started to talk the day of Luna's accident. When Neville had handed his phone to Ginny. When Luna got out of the hospital, Neville had stayed around for two days before flying back, picked up at the airport by Harry. He told Ginny afterwards what Neville had said to him.

"Harry."

"You okay Neville?"

"Yes, thanks Harry. Thanks for taking care of Hannah on this end."

"No problem Neville but, I talked to Luna's friend Ginny? She seemed kind of upset at you. She didn't know about you?"

"No, she knew about me. Luna had told her about a year ago. What she didn't know, what no one knew was Luna was pregnant."

"Oh."

"That's not it. She's pregnant with my baby. Babies actually."

Harry almost drove off the road. He turned off the main road and came to a stop on a side street, turning to look at Neville. He looked calm. Stoic.

"Neville, you're telling me that Luna's pregnant with your child, children, whatever. And that no one knows about that?"

"No. Her husband doesn't know and Luna wants to keep it that way. And sure as hell Hannah is never going to know."

"How are you going to manage that?"

"I don't know Harry. I don't know if I want Hannah and Rolf to know, don't know if this is our chance to leave our marriages, be together. But Luna doesn't want Rolf to know. Maybe she doesn't love me enough to be with me."

"Neville. I don't even know Luna and I know that's not possible."

"I know Harry but I wonder how this is going to work out. I want to be with her."

"You don't love Hannah anymore?"

"No Harry, I still love her. She's sweet, nice, wonderful. She's my daily life, my daily routine. I couldn't leave her, it would break her."

Harry nodded. That was true. He'd seen Hannah and Neville together. Despite the fact that she had all of her family, she gravitated to Neville, he was her support and cheering section. She needed him.

"And Luna said that I couldn't leave her, it would be hurtful."

"That's kind of strange, considering that the two of you are together, wouldn't that be hurtful if she knew?"

"Only if she knew Harry. That's the point isn't it?"

Harry dropped off Neville at his home. He thought about what Neville said for a long time and when he went back to his place, he called Ginny.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ginny, this is Harry, Neville's friend?"

"Oh hi Harry. How is he?"

"He's okay. Shaken up. Upset."

"I bet."

"How's Luna?"

"She's okay now, she went back home and the babies are okay."

"Ginny, I think that we're going to have to keep their secret."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"I do. I know that from what Neville said, that's what Luna wants. She doesn't want to hurt her husband Rolf, nor does she want to hurt Hannah."

"I know that Rolf loves Luna a lot. Maybe more then she loves him if you know what I mean."

"I do. And I know that Hannah loves Neville, she relies on him. It would destroy her if she knew that not only had he been having an affair, but he had children with another woman. Maybe one day, he can tell her but not right now."

"I don't like this."

"Me neither. But Neville is a good man, he's my best friend. He wouldn't do this if he weren't, I don't know even what I know what he would or wouldn't do. He's never been like this. Meeting Luna I think is the best and worst thing that ever happened to him. She's like a drug he said."

"I think so too. Luna was never like this, she said they met in a lobby, had a drink, Neville kissed her and she was just, gone. Like she never lived before him. She says she couldn't leave him even if she wanted to."

Ginny remembered this conversation every time she saw Luna. On the surface, she looked serene, calm, like she had nothing to think about other than her children, her husband, her teaching career at the university. But underneath, unbelievable. So many secrets, so many emotions.

"How are the boys?"

"They're good Ginny, they're off to camp this week."

"When is Neville coming in?"

"Tomorrow. He's staying for a night, then he's got to leave, he's super busy at work."

"How do you do it Luna?"

"Do what Ginny?"

"Manage with his life and yours?"

"It's worth it."

And it was. The next day, she was in the lobby of the hotel. Sitting at the same table. She would not have been surprised if the same waiter was here as well. She had dressed carefully, in a sweater set, skirt and knee high boots. Her hair was pinned up, little tendrils floating around her. She sat there, drinking a vodka tonic, waiting for him.

And he arrived. Looking exactly the same as she remembered. Tall, lean, wearing a dark sweater and pants. His hair slightly long, slightly tousled. The same crooked smile, the same look in his eyes of love, emotion. Heart-stopping. Her breath caught, like the first time.

He sat down opposite her, dropping his bag. She reached out and touched his face. Neville took her hand and kissed the palm. The waiter took his order, whiskey and Neville thanked him, never taking his eyes off Luna, never letting go of her hand.

They drank, they talked about their sons. They talked about their work. Neither of them mentioned their spouses. They silently left the bar, went to the elevators, rode the car up. Went down the hallway to the room booked under Neville's name. Opened the door, Luna going in silently, followed by Neville. Once it closed, Neville pushed Luna against the door, kissing her so hard, she felt the floor drop underneath her and she slid down to the carpet, Neville on top of her, opening up her sweater, pushing her bra down, pressing himself against her. Inhaling her. Devouring her. Unable to stop himself from entering her right there.

His hands felt the same, large, rough, tender against her skin. Feverish. Squeezing her, then softly holding her. They trailed down her sides, down to her hips. Felt her wetness. Felt her hardening nipples. His mouth felt the same, open, soft, urgent, making her feel like she was naked even when she wasn't. His being inside her felt the same, deep, hard, pressure building in a way that made her shiver, scream out loud, wonder what it would be like if they were together every day. Unable to stop him from pushing her head down between his legs as he lay there afterwards for a second time. Unable to stop from wanting him over and over again.

Once she thought about him with Hannah, the image of him on her, in her, vague, not clear since she had no idea what Hannah looked like but the thought made her want to call him immediately, tell him she wanted to be with him. But she stopped herself, knowing that it wasn't possible.

But when he was here, with her, she understood what he meant by wanting to die. With him by her side. Never leaving her. She counted the minutes they were together as soon as he arrived, knowing that it would be too soon he would be leaving her again. It broke her heart. She knew it was over, she had to tell him that.

"Neville, I can't do this anymore."

They were lying in bed, after he had made her come, after he had fucked her. After she had called out his name, writhing, moaning. He had watched her, had seen her straining for him. Had watched her mouth open as he reached the very top of her, watched her shudder as waves went through her.

He rolled over to his side and stared at her. "Luna…"

"No Neville. I can't be here with you, I can't want you and then stand by as you leave me."

"Baby, don't…"

"I can't sit by my phone, waiting for you to call, disappointed when you don't. I can't check my messages everyday, waiting to see if you've sent me one, live every day like that for you…"

Luna started to get up and he pulled her back down. She struggled to pull her arm away from him and he didn't let go, tightening his grasp, holding her down.

"Let me go Neville. You said that if I ever said I wasn't happy, you'd let me leave."

He looked hurt, upset. "Luna, you're not happy with me?" Neville asked her quietly, his voice shaking a little.

She shook her head, then wished she could take the words back when she saw the look on his face.

"No Neville, it's not that. I love you, we have children together. But I can't bear it sometimes. We're together, then you leave."

"You think I'm happy about this? You think that I want you going back to Rolf, back to our sons, whom he thinks are his sons by the way? You think that I want you to leave me, want you to sleep with him, with his hands on you, fucking you…"

Neville grabbed her and pushed her down on the bed, anger suddenly darkening his face. Luna looked up at him, aware for the first time ever in their relationship, that Neville was unhappy as well.

"Neville…"

He clasped her face in his hands. Serious.

"Tell me you want me to leave Hannah."

"Neville…"

"Tell me you want me to leave Hannah, tell me you want to leave Rolf."

"Please…"

"You said it Luna, so you tell me. Tell me that you love me more then you love Rolf, tell me that you fucking want me, tell me that you hate the fact I'm with Hannah, that I'm not with you…"

They never fought before, but they did that night. She struck him, hard as he finished his sentence and he trapped her hands, pushing them above her head. She screamed at him, slapped him when he released her, bit him when he tried to kiss her. He gripped her arms so hard, his fingers left bruises, he grabbed her neck, thrusting her down into the pillows. Breathing hard. He let her go and she grabbed the first thing she could lay her hands on, her cell phone, throwing it at his head. He dodged it and grabbed hold of her again. She screamed out at him, tried to hurt him like he was hurting her. By the look on his face, she was succeeding. His heart was breaking. Her heart was aching.

There would be bruises and scratches for him to explain, would be marks on her as well. Physical marks and emotional scars.

"Tell me Luna, tell me what you're searching for exactly." He shouted at her.

"I don't know Neville! I don't know!"

Luna pulled away, tried to leave, but he didn't let her. He dragged her back to the bed, throwing her down, pinning her underneath him. She struggled to be free, her mind screaming stop, her mouth crying out to him. But her body wouldn't let go, wouldn't ever let go.

"I love you."

"Let me go Neville."

"No."

He stared at her as she strained underneath him. She stopped finally when she realized that no matter what, he wasn't going to let go. And deep down inside, she didn't want him to either.

"Neville, I need you."

"I know Luna. I need you too."


	12. families

**thank you for all the reviews this is a mature story I don't own any characters**

Families

Luna waved at her sons as they left the house. Graduation was days away and then both were going away for college. Lorcan had an interest in writing and evolutionary studies like Luna. Lysander had a passion for research, like his father.

Luna swayed a moment, feeling a familiar ache in her stomach. She had thought before that it was due to her missing her sons, then realized it was because she was missing Neville.

The past years had fallen into a familiar pattern, where she saw him twice a year. Always at the hotel they had first met. They had tried years ago to get away for a weekend, to spend a few days together but it never worked out. Either her sons needed her, or Neville had family commitments with Hannah. After a while they stopped trying. Enjoyed the moments they could get.

Sometimes she'd be sitting there waiting for Rolf or running an errand and Neville would cross her mind like an errant thought. She would wonder if he was working, wonder if he was with Hannah, if he was thinking about her at all. Which was silly. She was too old to play these games, too mature and in a stable relationship of her own to worry about what he did or didn't do. But she thought these thoughts anyway from time to time.

She didn't realize that Neville thought about her on a daily basis as well, that he kept an eye on the city she worked in, kept an eye on her and her family. He didn't want to lose even that tenuous connection, whatever that connection comprised of, whatever he was to her and her sons. His sons.

She had a doctor's appointment later this week, her yearly checkup. First she was going to see Neville. She was going out in an hour, had packed the night before.

She sat in front of her dressing table, stared at herself in the mirror. Sometimes she didn't understand what Neville saw in her, not anymore. Her hair had silver threads throughout, fine lines were creasing the corners of her eyes and her mouth. She had stopped wearing makeup some time ago. Once she presented her naked face to Neville and he kissed her and said she never looked better. Rolf said she needed a little cover to add color to her face. Oh well. The two men in her life.

She pulled down a multi colored sweater and black skirt, added knee high boots. Dabbed perfume behind her knees, on her throat and her wrists. Around her neck was a pearl pendant that Rolf had given to her when her sons were born. Named for his great-grandfather and great-uncle, Luna had given him that much. Around her wrist was a white gold bracelet, given to her by Neville, she never took it off, along with the ring he had given to her so many years ago. There were two diamonds sitting in one of the links, a pearl sitting in another. Luna told Rolf it was from her father which had earned her a confused look from Mr. Lovegood. But he figured Luna had a good reason to say this to Rolf so he went along with it.

She had given birth to her sons after a difficult labor, almost a full day. But when it was over, there they were. Her beautiful sons. Rolf and her father, his family and her friends were out there waiting for them, for her. Ginny was there, with Hermione. They cried, Hermione talking with her about taking care of them, about how she might need help. She brought them home several days later and was sitting with them one day, tired, lonely, when a delivery of flowers came for her. No card. But there wasn't any need for one, for the dozens of peonies could only be from one person. Her heart soared, for that was the one piece missing from this wonderful event.

She tucked in her purse an envelope with pictures of Lorcan and Lysander for Neville. Sometimes she sent them by email but she liked to hand him physical evidence of their sons. Besides, their graduation pictures were inside, they had just arrived yesterday. Her favorite was the picture of her flanked by the two of them, and she had wished more than anything that Neville could be in this picture as well. She could see him in both of her sons a little bit, their smile, their humor which definitely did not come from Rolf. Their kindness. Their sensitivity. Thoughtfulness.

She grabbed her coat, was putting it on in the living room when she saw Ginny pull up. She waved at her through the window and taking her bag, locked the front door, going down the driveway.

"Hi Ginny, thanks for the lift."

"No problem."

"How's Harry and the kids?"

"They're good Luna, Lily always asks about you too."

"She's my girl."

Luna remembered when Ginny was in the hospital giving birth to Lily. Neville was in town, they both went to the hospital. She remembered sitting in a chair, tired, leaning her head against Neville's shoulder. He turned and kissed the top of her hair, stroking her neck. No one saw them, but it was the only time they had ever touched in public, other than at the bar, once years ago at a dinner together. She touched his knee, whispered that she loved him in his ear quietly, watched as he smiled.

"When will you be back?"

"Two days, I can get a cab from the station."

"No, Harry said he can pick you up. He says to say hi to Neville."

"I will."

Luna closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the day that she saw Hannah for the first time. It was at Ginny's wedding to Harry, so many years ago. Almost fifteen now.

Luna was Ginny's matron of honor and Neville was Harry's best man. Ginny asked her seriously if that would be okay, because it meant that Hannah would be coming to the wedding with Neville. If it weren't so surreal, Luna would have burst out laughing. She had always wondered what Hannah looked like and now she was going to get her chance to find out. Once they were at the rehearsal dinner and Neville grinned at her at one point, because in a way, this was the closest that the two of them would be to being married themselves. They were later standing in front of the minister, listening to Harry and Ginny recite their vows. Luna glanced over to Neville and saw him watching her.

Afterwards, Neville introduced Hannah to Luna and Rolf, Rolf absent-mindedly shaking her hand before turning to other people. Luna smiled and studied her covertly afterwards. Hannah was much taller then herself, pretty and friendly. She and Ginny's family talked a lot throughout the night. Luna thought she might have been jealous of Neville being there with Hannah but seeing Hannah happy and realizing that she had her sons, realizing that she had Neville's heart, made Luna understand that she couldn't take Neville away from Hannah even if she wanted to. When she introduced her sons to Neville, she started to tear up because the look on Neville's face was tender, loving, the same look he gave to her. Lorcan was polite but only said a few words. Lysander being the more sensitive of the two of them, shook Neville's hand and then gave him a quick hug, something he never did before. Neville had closed his eyes and wished for one millisecond that things could be different. Luna gently took Lysander's hand, coaxing him away and turned away before she started crying.

Neville didn't say anything to Luna the entire night but one other instance stuck in her mind. She was standing in a small alcove and Neville came over to be beside her, his hands behind his back. He didn't say anything to her, didn't touch her and neither did she. He just looked at her and Luna knew. She knew. She walked away and Neville followed her back into the reception hall and she turned to her sons and he turned to Hannah. Three months later, they were together again, in their hotel as she had come to think of it.

As always, once the door was closed, Neville moved towards Luna, pushing her against the wall, kissing her hard. Her mouth opened for her tongue to meet his. Hungry. Needy. He placed his hands under her breasts, squeezing them, inserting his leg between hers.

Luna reached up and touched his chest, feeling her nipples harden, feeling herself get wet. It was never like this with Rolf. It was always sweet, always gentle. In a way, Luna felt like she was the aggressor in that relationship. With Neville, it was much more primal. Much more emotional.

Neville lifted her up, moving her to the sofa. Pushing her back, holding her face in his hands.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, you were so beautiful at the wedding Luna."

She blushed as she always did when Neville told her she was beautiful.

"Lorcan and Lysander look great."

"They are great Neville."

"I wish…"

"I know. Me too. But it's okay. I think of you every time I see them."

"Tell me everything."

And she did. Everything that their sons were doing. Everything that she was doing. What bothered her, what made her happy. It was like she was storing all the information for each time they saw each other.

What Neville had said so many years ago was becoming true. They had started as lovers, and ended up being friends. More then friends. They were each other's balancing act. Each other's outlets for their lives. When Hannah frustrated Neville he thought of Luna, talked to her and she calmed him down, made him understand Hannah's point of view. When Rolf was absent-minded towards Luna, towards Lorcan and Lysander, when he was travelling so much, it was Neville who talked to her, who made her realize that this was the way Rolf was and she knew it all those years ago. Made it tolerable for her to stay.

Neville settled himself on top of Luna, unbuttoning her sweater, caressing the satin of her bra, then pulling it down to expose her breasts. Still beautiful. Still desirable. His tongue found her nipple, licking, sucking. She held his head in place, pushing up against him.

He pulled off her skirt, pushed the scrap of lace off and spread her legs, always marveling at how Luna wanted to be with him. He bent his head back down, making Luna lie back on the bed, sighing. He clasped her thighs, pulling her closer. Staring at her pink folds, shiny, taking a taste, new each and every time.

Luna bent her knees, feeling Neville loving her. After all this time, so many years, it was still like the first time they were together. When he stared at her, when he touched her, swollen, exposed, vulnerable. When she was coming, over and over and over. Sweaty, slick, she clutched at him, his muscles bunched, strained as he made love to her.

Ginny decided the day that Luna had her sons, that she would keep her secret. Rolf looked happy, Luna looked happy, it wasn't up to her to say anything. Being with Harry helped her with this decision. They had started talking on the phone after that first time, after Luna was in the hospital. Harry had flown out to see her, she had flown out to see him. She finally understood what Luna meant by being struck, not being able to leave someone, who had captured her heart, imagination, soul. In a way, she had Neville to thank for that, because if it weren't for him, she might never have met Harry.

"Are you okay Luna? You've been losing weight."

"I'm okay Ginny."

Neville was adjusting his tie in the mirror. He looked briefly at his face, not for the first time wondering what Luna saw in him. He still didn't understand his appeal to women, that is was the fact he didn't know his good looks were attractive, that was what appealed to most women. Neville still saw himself as a slightly overweight teenager, not able to get a date, a shy, diffident man who wasn't sure if he was being teased to this day, even though to all accounts, he was a successful researcher and businessman. He sighed. It didn't really matter to him, as long as Luna thought he was still attractive. Still in love with him. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to do something with the lines that now crisscrossed his forehead, crinkled from his eyes. Wasn't sure if he was supposed to do something fancy with his hair. Still couldn't figure out how to dress.

"Hello Luna."

"Hello Neville."

She leaned into him and he picked her up, like she weighed nothing and carried her over to the bed. He never wanted to waste time with her. Never wanted a moment to escape.

He undressed her, spread her open. Luna turned to pull the sheet over herself, ever since she had their sons, she was concerned that Neville wouldn't like what he saw, Hannah probably looked much better and she hated herself for thinking that. Neville pulled the sheet away from her, leaned over and kissed her lips.

"Don't cover up Luna. You're still beautiful, you'll always be beautiful in my eyes."

Neville memorized every curve of her body, touched every inch. He watched her sleep sometimes. She looked so serene, no different then when she was awake. He would sometimes stroke her hair, sometimes caress her arm, her thigh. Sometimes she would awaken as he was staring at her and her eyes would look at him so clearly, his heart would skip a beat.

His fingers memorized what she felt like, as he rubbed her very hard and very fast, watching her respond to him, watching her clutch the bed. Watching her clutch her abdomen.

"Are you okay Luna?"

"Yes Neville. Just a little tired these days."

"Baby, you need a vacation. Time away from everyone."

She smiled at him. "I don't need time away, but I do wish you and I could go somewhere together."

"Maybe we can, with Lorcan and Lysander graduating."

"We'll see. Hold me okay?"

Neville pulled her up, tucking her by his side, placing a leg over her side. She kissed his chest, touched his hip and sighed a little.

"Things are good with you Neville?"

"Yes Luna…" he proceeded to tell her about the house renovations, a funny story about someone at work. She smiled, listening to his voice. He continued to talk through her hair, as she got on top of him, as he reached up and weighed her breasts in his hands. Only now he was talking about her. Him. He ran his hands down to her hips, she took his member in her hands and guided him into her, feeling him push up, hard, full, fast. She leaned back, grasping his thighs as he fucked her, listening to him shout out her name. Listening to him tell her he loved her.


	13. epilogue

Epilogue

Neville was standing by the riverside, watching the water flowing. He could hear people at the restaurant across from him, their conversations ebbing and flowing over him. The sound of the band, the tinkle of flatware. He smiled a little, remembering the last time he had heard a band on a river. It was at a hotel years ago, when he was going up to see her.

He slowly walked away, going up the pathway to his room. It had gotten dark since he had been standing here, dreaming. He would have to hurry.

He climbed up the stairs, leaning on the railing. Groaning a little, because of the ache in his back these days, his knees too.

The doorman opened the door for him, he crossed the lobby and headed towards the elevators. Waited patiently for the next car, people chatting around him, hurrying, so many young people.

He reached his room, then hurriedly opened his door, hearing the phone ring.

"Hello"

"Hey Neville." A familiar voice.

"Hey Harry, how are you?"

"Great, great. Things going well?"

"Sure. How are your kids?"

"Oh gosh, I'm a grandfather again."

"That's terrific. I have to see them soon, how many is that now?"

"Five can you believe it? They are running me ragged too, I'm an old man now."

"You definitely are." There was a pause.

"You holding up okay?"

"No problems Harry. No regrets."

"Okay then, when you're back in town you give me a call we'll get together."

"Okay, say hi to Ginny for me."

"I will."

Neville hung up the phone gently.

He moved to the dresser, looking at himself in the mirror There was a lot of grey in his hair now, lines from dealing with his research business that have marked themselves on him. But his eyes were the same, dark brown, open. Vulnerable as she would say. He glanced down, looking at the book on herbs and the properties they were used for in the past. He was hoping to get into it tonight.

But first, he had a date. He needed to get ready for it in a hurry, having lingered too long outside.

He picked up the tie that was laid out for him. He tied it with trembling fingers, anticipating the evening he had planned. He pulled on his jacket, sitting down heavily on the bed to place on the loafers he had just polished the night before. He picked up a brush, running it through his hair, still unruly after all these years.

He moved into the sitting room, settling in a chair that was pulled up to the table, set for two with beautiful chinaware, crystal stems, very nice linens. There were candles lit on the table, flowers in a vase. Romantic. The wine had been chilling for about an hour, he had made sure of it before leaving for his walk.

He looked over at the other chair smiling gently.

There was a picture there, of a beautiful woman. Long wavy blonde hair, pale skin and silvery eyes. Dreamy eyes that held secrets only he knew. Lips that he could still remember on him, soft, whispering. She had in her hands a book, her finger marking the page. He had caught her just as she was getting to the juicy part, she had said to him in her high sighing voice. Neville said he didn't care, that the picture was too perfect not to take.

Luna had laughed and smiled at him, reaching out, making him put down the camera.

Neville leaned back and took a sip from a glass that the hotel staff had set there earlier in the afternoon. He had been doing this for the past twelve years now, ever since Neville started coming back to this hotel. Ever since he had been coming alone. Ever since Luna's illness, and subsequent death, too early for the two of them.

Neville received the news of Luna entering the hospital from Ginny. He needed to be by her side, needed to see her one last time. For the first time, he told Hannah that he was going to see her.

"Hannah, my friend Luna, you met her at Harry and Ginny's wedding, she's sick. I need to go see her."

"Oh I'm sorry Neville. Will she be all right?"

Neville's throat closed up. He couldn't answer for a moment and his wife looked at him curiously. He turned away, staring out the window, pausing for his composure to return.

"I'm not sure Hannah. I fly out tomorrow."

He went directly to the hospital from the airport. He knew that she couldn't say anything to him but it didn't matter. They had said everything the last time.

Her sons were there at the hospital, his sons. Rolf was there, Ginny and Harry. Their children, Luna's father whom he had never met, other people he had no idea who they were. He was a tiny part of Luna's life he realized. He would have left if Ginny hadn't whispered to Luna that he was here and she stretched her arm out to him.

He went through the cluster of people around her, to see her lying there, so thin, so pale. Her hair was tucked underneath her head, what was left of it. She couldn't speak to him but her eyes, so luminescent, they communicated everything to him. Neville dropped to his knees and held her hand, watching her.

She passed away two days later. Her sons talked to him at her funeral, somber. Their girlfriends standing by their sides, quiet. They reminded him of Luna. Calming. Gentle. Supportive.

"Mother thought you were the best person she ever knew, better then dad." Lorcan said solemnly. Lysander nodded beside him, wiping a tear from his cheek, clutching his girlfriend's hand.

Neville smiled, his heart breaking a little. Luna never told them, never told Rolf. But when he looked at Lorcan, he could see a little of his crooked smile. When he looked at Lysander, there was a particular part in his hair that was very similar to his own. Their coloring was a little darker too, and they had dark grey eyes, with an intensity that was similar to his own. But the only four people who knew were himself, Luna, Ginny and Harry. Ginny and Harry never said anything, respecting what Luna wanted for her family. But every time Luna and Neville got together, she would bring him photos, tell him stories.

But like he had said to Harry, there were no regrets. Neville had cherished every night they had together. It had become twice a year, usually for one night only. Neville memorized every moment they had, remembered everything she said to him. Every year, Luna became more beautiful to him and he said so the last time.

"You're so beautiful."

"No Neville."

"Yes Luna. You are absolutely beautiful. In every way."

She looked at herself in the mirror and Neville moved her masses of blonde hair aside, kissed her neck. She turned and kissed him back.

"Even after 20 years?"

"Even after 50 years."

But there weren't fifty years. It was barely six months later when she had called him, asking him to meet her.

They met at the hotel room, the same hotel room they spent their first night.

"Luna is everything okay?"

"Yes Neville, I just wanted to see you. Tell you a few things."

Neville's heart stopped, he thought she was going to say that she no longer wanted to see him, that she didn't want to keep up this charade any more. But the truth was worse.

"Okay, let's say a week from tomorrow."

So it happened, they met in this same room, sitting at this same table. Luna had arranged for a light supper to be there when he arrived, candles lit, their light flickering.

She was still the same lovely girl he remembered although it wouldn't matter what she looked like actually, she would always be beautiful in his eyes, as he had told her once before. There was silver in her hair, not too many strands, but a few. A few lines on her forehead, around her eyes and lips. But her eyes were still crystal clear, still had the ability to draw him in, drown him. He still remembered the moment he ran into her, still remembered with completely clarity the way she looked when he leaned across and kissed her that first time. He had thought about her so often, over so many years. They were now well into their forties, headed into their fifties before long. Every moment they had was still special and Neville didn't want them to end. He was prepared to fight her for those moments.

"Neville."

"Don't Luna, don't say you no longer want to see me."

"Baby. That's not it."

"Then what? What is it that you wanted to tell me? That you no longer love me anymore?" Neville had a hard time saying the words, his voice breaking a little at the end of the sentence.

Luna took a swallow of her drink. She drank whiskey now, like him, having acquired a taste years ago from his mouth. She said the next words very matter-of-factly.

"I'm dying Neville."

Neville stared at her. Luna looked back at him serenely. She must be joking. But she wasn't.

"What are you talking about?"

"Neville, I have cancer. It's stage four, I don't have a lot of time left."

"You're lying to me. Fuck you Luna, if you don't want to see me anymore. Don't say that though, don't lie to me."

Neville had never wanted to strike a woman, never wanted ever to hurt Luna deliberately but he came as close as he ever did to doing just that to her, upon hearing her words. Shocked.

"If you want to stay with your husband and our sons, if you don't want me in your life just say it. Don't make up this lie."

Neville didn't realize he was shouting at her, didn't realize there were tears running down his face until Luna kissed him, kissed his tears. Wiped them away with her hand.

"Fuck you Luna, please baby, don't say that." He whispered as he took her in his arms.

Neville moved to her, knelt by her chair, taking her face in his hands. She had smiled brightly, whispered that she loved him. He remembered how he had blinked many times, her face wavering through his tears.

He raised his glass to her, blinking back his tears right now.

"I love you Luna."

He imagined her smiling at him, telling him that she loved him too.

The last time they were in this room, Neville had cut Luna's hair, carefully, tenderly. She had started to lose a lot of it. He remembered her sitting on the desk chair, a bed sheet tied around her, patiently waiting as Neville cut her blonde mane down to her scalp. He had to stop many times to wipe the tears from his eyes. At the end, Luna turned to him and kissed him, handing him a piece of her hair as they went to bed. It was the most intimate act they ever had together, more intimate then their first kiss which he remembered every single day. He still had her hair, hidden away in his house.

She had also left three photos of herself and a photo of the hotel he was sitting in right now, along with the note he had written to her the first time they had a drink. His name and number. He had opened the envelope which had arrived by courier the day after her funeral at his office.

First was the ring. She had left him the ring he had given to her so many years ago. Neville stared at it, remembering the day he gave it to her, the way Luna had cried.

The photos of the boys were next, when they were babies, toddlers, grade school, holidays, high school graduation. Both boys were finishing college now, grad school, continuing their lives. The greatest gift that Luna could have given to him was the high praise that came from both their mouths about him, thanks to Luna. Harry told him the things they said about him sometimes, based on what Luna told them.

The photos of Luna Neville had to stop looking at, holding back his tears. One of her as a young girl, her serious grey eyes staring straight at him, another when she was in college, in profile, her hair tumbling over her shoulders.

But it was the third one he loved the most. Somehow, she had a photo of the two of them. He didn't know how she had done it, maybe it was a time they were at dinner. It was years ago, he remembered that he was coming back from the restroom and a flash had occurred. He thought it was from the next table but it turned out to be directed at the two of them. It was Luna seated at the table, looking up towards him and himself lowering into his chair, glancing away from her, probably at the flash. He didn't care, it was the only evidence that the two of them ever existed, that their relationship existed. Other then their sons.

The note was in a plastic bag and attached to an envelope. Neville opened it, pulled out a letter from Luna.

_Dear Neville._

_I know that when you read this, I will no longer be with you. I want you to know that I have cherished every moment we have had together. I have no regrets and I hope that you have none as well. _

_We did the best we could. You might be thinking that if the timing was different, if the circumstances were different, we would have been together. But we were Neville. You were with me every day, in every thought, in every feeling, every memory. I was wedded to you the first day we met. When you asked me for a drink, when you kissed me. I was never apart from you after that. You're the reason why I survived all these years, you're the reason I had for living._

_I love you. Don't ever forget that._

_Love always._

_Luna_

Neville carried this letter with him every day. He had made copies of the original, left the original in a plastic cover, in his safety deposit box at the bank. He reread it several times a day, usually at the end of the night. Before he went home to Hannah.

Hannah may have suspected that he had someone but never asked. They led separate lives and it worked for them. He still loved her, still wanted to make her happy for she was the same sweet and gentle, friendly person he had married all those years ago. They never had children which Hannah regretted greatly. Neville could never tell her about Lorcan and Lysander. But Harry and Ginny knew, they lived not too far away from them and Rolf and Ginny would write to him via email every so often to update him about their lives. One day, after Rolf passed away, maybe he would tell them the truth, maybe tell Hannah the truth. But that was not important right now.

Neville finished his drink, propped up the note with his name and number on it next to her photo. He had his yearly conversation with her about his life, about his work, his marriage with Hannah, Harry and Ginny, their children.

Neville leaned back onto the headboard, thought about calling Hannah. She was visiting her mother and her sisters, he was due to fly out the next day, meeting them for a weekend. His mind was filled with his memories, he couldn't keep his attention on the book next to him.

He decided he would go for a quick walk, get his nervous energy out of his system, then return to the hotel for the night.

The city was busy tonight, despite the lateness of the hour, lots of traffic, cars and trucks not stopping for anything or anyone. Neville was standing at the corner waiting for the light to change before crossing when all of the sudden, he saw her. Luna. Her mass of hair, her blinding aura. She was right there, across the street.

"Luna!" Neville called out and she turned. Waving at him.

He stepped forward towards her and was struck by her smile. Just for him.

Her hands cupped his face and she whispered to him.

I love you

Luna I l missed you so much

I missed you too

Will you have a drink with me?

Yes I would love too

Will you spend the rest of your life with me?

Yes Neville the rest of this life

I searched for you so long

You found me

**Thank you for reading this story, Neville and Luna are meant for one another.**


End file.
